If his shoulders were as strong as his heart, Brock Hirsche would still be playing for the Prince George Cougars.
The 20-year-old captain of the Western Hockey League club announced his retirement from junior hockey Wednesday, a day after undergoing surgery on his left shoulder for a torn labrum.
"It's tough when you've got to walk away from the game you love, it sucks, it really does," said Hirsche. "I guess being able to brace for it for the last couple of weeks has helped me a little bit.
"Those first few nights when I found out there was a pretty good chance I wouldn't play again I honestly didn't sleep at all so as tough as it is today, it's not as bad because I've been expecting it for a while," he added.
Hirsche's latest shoulder trauma - he's had two previous surgeries on each shoulder - came on a freak play Nov. 9 against the Edmonton Oil Kings when he dove to block a point shot during a penalty kill.
"I got the puck in the leg and as I was flying out my left shoulder just dislocated," said Hirsche. "It's kind of weird. My shoulders, I don't know, they seem to pop out pretty easily."
He said he recovered from the dislocation and was back skating within a few days but in a follow-up X-ray about two weeks ago it showed more extensive damage and surgery was recommended.
"One of the bone anchors actually came apart from the bone and the surgeon was pretty worried that it was going to eat away at the cartilage in my shoulder," said Hirsche. "He kind of just said in a couple weeks I can get you in because if you don't get this done it's going to essentially rot your shoulder and when you're a 30-year-old guy you might not be able to swing a golf club."
During Tuesday's surgery to repair the bone anchor is when the torn labrum was discovered and repaired. The recovery time on the injury is a minimum of three months.
Hirsche was recuperating from his latest setback last month when Kamloops Blazers 20-year-old forward Jordan DePape announced his own retirement due to shoulder problems.
"I was pretty shook," said Hirsche. "I don't really know the guy personally, but I heard he's a quality individual. When he announced it I kind of knew what he was going through. I felt really bad for him but I respected his decision. He's just doing what he needs to do and what's best for his body in the long term so he can have a long healthy life."
The six-foot, 190-pound centreman was limited to 18 games this season with the Cougars after playing in only eight games for the Cougars last season when he underwent his second career shoulder surgery. In 161 career regular-season games with the Cougars, Hirsche had 26 goals and 61 points. In seven playoff games, the Lethbridge native contributed two assists. He was selected by the Cougars in the second round (32nd overall) of the 2007 bantam draft.
The news of Hirsche's retirement was delivered to his teammates Wednesday, as it was announced defenceman Dan Gibb would be the new captain while forward Ryan Hanes, acquired when Hirsche was placed on the 30-day disabled list in November, would be an associate captain along with Dallas Ehrhardt and Troy Bourke.
"It's definitely a bittersweet day hearing that Brock's no longer playing with us," said Gibb. "His presence is going to be missed in the room because he's a good guy and he's just a good person. It's very unfortunate but I'll try to fill the role that he did as best I can."
In his final two seasons, Hirsche was limited to 26 games, but his presence was so important to his teammates and head coach Dean Clark that he took on the role of assistant coach during several games last year and during his latest injury.
Gibb said the passion Hirsche brings to the game infuses the dressing room.
"He obviously cares about everybody on the team, it's a special trait to see," said Gibb. "I'll try to take that in my game and do that with the leadership."
Clark and general manager Dallas Thompson have invited Hirsche to continue on as assistant coach for the rest of the season, but it's a decision Hirsche plans to put on hold until after Christmas. He said he'll remain with the Cougars until the holiday break and then will return afterwards for the long term or just to pick up his vehicle.
"I'm just a little bit uncertain here because for the next few weeks I'm going to be in some pain and I wouldn't be able to physically participate as an assistant coach normally would," said Hirsche. "When I get back from Christmas I'll make that decision. I'd love to stay but we'll have to see."
Hirsche said if he doesn't stay with the Cougars he'll consider heading to the University of Lethbridge in January to begin his education, much like DePape has done at the University of Manitoba. But, while DePape is considering playing for the Manitoba Bisons next September, Hirsche seemed less certain about playing CIS hockey.
"I'm going to get some opinions. Talk to my surgeon and doctors just to see if it's recommended that I still play," said Hirsche. "I keep playing and I just keep getting re-hurt so we'll see what a few doctors have to say. I'd love to play again but if it's going to jeopardize the long term health of my body, I'd say probably not. I'm just looking forward to starting a new chapter in my life but I'm definitely going to miss this part."
