A new survey shows 67 per cent of Canadian parents are uncertain their children will fulfill their hopes, and 83 per cent were unsure if they achieved what their parents wanted for them.
The survey by Big Brothers Big Sisters of Canada and Invesco Canada polled over 1,000 parents about what they hope for their children and what barriers they face to achieve that.
Big Brothers Big Sisters of Prince George executive director Tim Bennett said the survey was part of a research program undertaken last year by Big Brothers Big Sisters to mark the organization's 100th anniversary.
"Every parent wants the best for their children, but what we wanted to get out of this was what parents truly want for their children," Bennett said. "It was sad to see that two-thirds [of parents] might not meet their expectations for their kids."
Some of the barriers parents saw for their children included: negative emotional states or behaviours (29 per cent), family finances (18 per cent), stress at home (17 per cent) and difficulty at school (15 per cent).
"There are so many barriers in a kid's life," Bennett said. "They have so many things pulling them in every direction."
In the survey, 67 per cent of parents who said they didn't know if they met their parents' expectations said having an adult mentor in their life would have helped them.
Bennett said that's the role Big Brothers Big Sisters has been helping fill for 100 years. Big Brothers Big Sisters matches children and youth with an adult volunteer who spends time with them, becoming a friend and mentor.
"We really are providing them with a consistent, positive, stable adult in their life," Bennett said. "Of course there is amazing benefits to the child. [But] the volunteer sees benefits and there is benefits for the family as a whole. The little [brother or sister] becomes part of the big [brother or sister's] family, and the big becomes part of the little's family."
Often the friendships formed through the program last into adulthood, he said. One local volunteer who has been with the program for 35 years still keeps in touch with his first little brother, Bennett said.
Other studies done by the organization have shown that children with positive mentors are less likely to engage in negative behaviours like drug use, and more likely to graduate high school and pursue post-secondary education.
Big Brothers Big Sisters staff can often see the difference in a child's confidence and self-esteem in just months.
"Most of the kids who come through our door are extremely shy. You can see many of them may have low self esteem," Bennett said.
When an adult takes the time to listen, spend time with them and value them, he said, it makes a world of difference.
LITTLE AND BIG
A year and a half ago, one of those shy kids was Melissa Alexander.
Although the 15 year old now towers almost a foot over her Big Sister, 52-year-old Susan Tapp, Tapp has played a big part in her life.
"It's fun. We do so many cool things," Alexander said.
Although it was initially her mother's idea to enroll her in the program, Alexander said she'd now recommend it to other teens.
"It's been awesome," the Grade 9 student said.
Over the last year and half Alexander and Tapp have gone to a concert, Paws for A Cause, hockey games, bowling, swimming, a dog fashion show, tobogganing and cross country skiing. Alexander is a dedicated volunteer at the B.C. SPCA and sometimes brings Tapp with her.
"I'm an animal nut," she said.
Other times they just walk their dogs together or work on crafts, Tapp said.
"Melissa, whatever is on her mind, she'll talk to me. Mostly what I do is listen," she said. "If I feel I need to share an experience of mine, I will do that. Whatever is going on, we're able to communication together."
Tapp said she had wanted to be a Big Sister for along time. When she was growing up, she saw other kids had an aunt or an older friend who was there for them.
"For me, I didn't have anyone growing up," she said. "This is about Melissa... however what I have received is someone in my life who is young and new, and she changes the way I see things."
Tapp, who has no kids of her own, said having a young person in her life has changed her outlook. She is always looks forward to their weekly visits.
"My life is better with Melissa in it," she said.
Alexander is one of 200 kids in Prince George who have a mentor, thanks to volunteers like Tapp, Bennett said.
"In Prince George we are serving more kids than we have ever before," Bennett said. "We could not do that without 200 pretty amazing volunteers. [But] we are always looking for people, because we have so many kids that are waiting."
For more information about Big Brothers Big Sisters, go online to www.bbbspg.ca/en/Home/default.aspx or call 250-563-7410.
