Let your Yes be simply Yes, and your No be simply No; anything more than that comes from the evil one." Matthew 5:37
This verse comes from a chapter in the Bible where Jesus is describing to his followers what our lives will look like when our hearts have been transformed by him. Jesus is addressing verbal and emotional manipulation. We've all experienced it at one time or another and felt its effects, and if we're honest we've all probably been perpetrators of it as well.
It's so easy to use tools and tactics to add weight or credence to our words in order to convince someone else to do something we think is best. Some people use God in this way while others rely on that vague and random group of "Some People."
Whether it's lying, lying by omission, denial, rationalization, minimization, evasion, intimidation, guilt, shame, blame, or anger - whatever the tool and whatever the tactic, no matter how subtle we think it is, it is always wrong to try to change the perception or behaviour of others through underhanded and deceptive ways. Attempting to control people through manipulation does not respect the people to whom it is directed. It does not place the value and worth on humanity that God does. Rather, manipulation tries to override the judgement and will of the one it is focussed on, and pushes them aside.
So how do we respond to those who are intent on manipulating us, whether verbally or emotionally?
There's another verse in Matthew where Jesus says "Behold, I am sending you out like sheep in the midst of wolves; be wary and wise as serpents, and be innocent as doves." (Matthew 10:16)
We need to be alert to what is going on in our world and not be nave to the motives and strategies of others. We need to have proper boundaries in our lives and recognize manipulation for what it is, yet at the same time we are encouraged to be innocent or harmless, to not seek revenge and to not respond in kind.
If you are facing this in your world right now, my prayer for you today is that you would be full of wisdom and grace. That you would be surrounded by those who can support and affirm you, and most of all that you would walk in the full freedom and abundant life that Jesus came to bring you.
