Great meals were burning and the once-clean house was now messy.
Although Doris Styr's family had been living with her gradual decline from Alzheimer's for 10 years, it was only after she had an aneurysm in 2009 that her sudden lack of interest in cooking and cleaning pointed to bigger problems.
Initially, it was an out-of-sight, out-of-mind situation for her daughter Lana, living her own life in the United States and dealing with her own loss of a loved one.
"I would call up my parents and my dad would say that my mom was doing some very strange things," Lana said.
After Doris had the aneurysm in 2009, however, Lana returned to Prince George.
"I came back for a week to see how things were going and ended up staying for five and a half years," said Lana, who lived in her adoptive parents' basement after she renovated it. "When my mom kept burning things, I took over the cooking."
Lana also took over the grocery shopping and household chores. Fred and Doris's biological son, Richard, lives in Grande Prairie, so Lana took on the role of caregiver to her parents.
"But there comes a time when you need to let people draw their own conclusions," said Lana. "I moved out a year and a half ago and that allowed my father to realize what was happening. That showed them that they could not care for themselves any longer."
As a family Fred, 81, Doris and Lana went for lunch one day at the Prince George Chateau, the 114-unit seniors community living complex.
"By the time we walked out they had signed the papers and on Oct. 27, 2012 they moved in," said Lana of her parents who have been married for 52 years. A year later, Fred's cancer diagnosis and treatment forced Doris into respite care, as Fred was hospitalized for an extended period.
"It was so hard to drop her off at respite," said Lana, who has a full time job. "I felt like I was abandoning her and I was a mess even just thinking about it."
It's a good lesson, Lana said, about living in the moment and not planning too far in advance.
She wanted to get her mother into a secure environment. So from respite, Doris was placed in Gateway Lodge complex care on Nov. 10, 2013.
"My goal was to get mom into some place safe, where she's taken care of, she's well fed and she's not going to go wandering off," said Lana.
At Gateway, Doris led a quiet life, separated from her husband, who was still at the Chateau. Fred was anxious about being put on the waiting list for the assisted living complex. Fortunately, he found a place there recently to be near his wife, making visiting with her much easier.
Recreational therapists encourage Doris to do some gardening and simple chores that help to pass the time.
"I go to whatever they offer," said Doris, who likes the musicians who drop by to entertain the guests at the lodge.
In her younger years Doris worked at the Prince George Cafe as a server, then spent 15 years at Prince George Electric as bookkeeper and then ended her career bookkeeping at Argus Glass.
Lana remembers going to the Kresge's lunch counter for fried egg sandwiches when her mom worked at P.G. Electric, a simpler time, that Doris recalls more clearly than her recent past. Last time Doris was assessed she told the doctor it was 1986, said Lana.
In her spare time, Doris was a member of the Royal Purple with a perfect attendance record for many years, said Lana.
Now life is a bit more about recreation. Lana visits often in the evenings to keep her mom company.
"We go into the sun room, in front of the television and I bring coffee and donuts and we play rummy," said Lana, as an attendant comes by to offer coffee and goodies.
"No thanks," said Doris, not quite meeting anyone's glance as she declines the offer of a snack. "I'm not hungry. They feed me pretty well here. It's not like my working days, when I was on the go constantly. I don't eat like a logger any more."
Lana and Doris share a laugh, each remembering happier, more productive days.
Doris like to play cards. She said her mom raised six kids and there wasn't much in the house so the six children would play cards a lot with a deck their uncle brought them.
Doris is a big fan of romance writer Danielle Steel and reads and re-reads her novels to pass the time.
Lana said Doris seems to be stuck on the age of 14 years old.
"She tells people she got her pant suit when she was 14 years old, she started work when she was 14 years old and she moved to Prince George when she was 14 years old," said Lana. "She seems to be stuck on 14 years old and I'm not sure why."
It seems to be one of those unexplainable traits of dementia, she added.
"In these situations you really have to keep your sense of humour because otherwise..." Lana said with a smile, looking down into her lap, shaking her head.
