She was born to do the job, said Donalda Carson, executive director of the Prince George Hospice Society and the operator of the first free-standing hospice house in British Columbia.
"I wasn't aware of it at the time, but I believe I was in training for this job my whole life," said Carson, who will be retiring as executive director after 20 years on Jan. 30. "In my personal life I've experienced lots of grief, lots of losses, lots of people dying. I think I was being shaped for the job. When I saw the ad, I remember saying to myself 'this is it. This is why I was born.'"
She didn't plan on working in healthcare again after working as a nurse in the intensive care unit and the long-term facilities where everybody dies, Carson added.
She even took a year off, thinking she would never return to healthcare, but then she saw the ad for the executive director for the Prince George Hospice Society.
"I can't say it's all been rosy but it's been an awesome life-enhancing experience for me."
Nurses are taught to care for a patient, not to do what the patient wants.
In Hospice House, it's about allowing the patient to do what they need to do, when they want to do it.
Carson believes her experience as a youth in the tourism industry, where the goal is to make sure people have what they need, helped her to understand how important it is to accommodate a person's wishes at the end of their life.
"I also think it helps to acknowledge the grief family members are going through, as well as the person who is dying," said Carson, 70. "When you start to ask about a family member's story or ask the person to share their story, it's important because they can get some joy out of that."
The other side of it is the medical, nursing knowledge that needs to be applied as well.
"I don't think any one is more important than the other," said Carson.
The Prince George Hospice Society board will hire a new executive director and Carson sits on a committee that is developing a job description to find the right person for the job.
Coincidentally, the nurse manager at the hospice house has recently retired as well. Carson believes finding the right person for that job is key to carry on the legacy of what Hospice House does for the community.
"I'm leaving the society in good shape," said Carson. "We're financially stable and still need to continue fundraising, like the dream home lottery."
Staff numbers are good to keep the facility running and there are almost 200 volunteers in place to support the society.
"I would like to see more acceptance of death in society and I would like people to be open to help with grief support," said Carson. "I would like everyone to have an advanced directive."
Advance directives are legal documents that set out a person's decisions about end-of-life care ahead of time. This allows a person to express their wishes to family, friends, and health care professionals and to avoid confusion at a most stressful time.
"That is the best thing you can do for yourself and your family," said Carson. "People shy away from these types of things. People should know they are going to die. You're born to die. So why wouldn't you want a say in how it goes?"
Prince George residents seem to understand that better than most.
"I don't think a free-standing hospice house could have happened anywhere else in the province except in Prince George," she added. "Every time we asked the public, they support this organization. The Dream Home Lottery is the most important fundraiser we have and the community always comes through. So I have the people of Prince George to thank for me being in this job for 20 years."
