For a bunch of country acts, they'd make a heck of a boy band.
All three of the marquee names at CN Centre on Wednesday night are missing their calling. Chris Lane, Granger Smith and the two leads of Florida Georgia Line (Tyler Hubbard and Brian Kelley) should form country music's first packaged pop group.
Maybe call themselves the Backroad Boys since three of the four openly tipped their hat to Backstreet Boys. Or maybe New Kids In The Crop? Boyz II Amen? The Camouflage Dolls? They can work on it, they have another year of touring still ahead of them.
Another year of partying across the continent. One thing this show has going for it is atmosphere. Chris Lane had a great dirt road soul vibe going on, and he can sing fairly well, and has a couple of strong songs in his repertoire, so that got the night started well.
His first big hit Fix was a lot of fun, and he evoked a strong response to his current single For Her. He also pasted down a medley of '90s pop tunes that added some enjoyable curve balls to the mix.
The energy got ramped up even higher with Granger Smith. He's charismatic, handsome, a true showman, but on the musical side - and maybe he's just going through some strain or had a cold or something - the guy can't sing to save his life. He hits some low-register money notes and he wasn't purely off-key, but his vocal strength was nil, no projection ability, it was a thin broth he was serving up. At times he even allowed the lead guitar to overpower his voice to make it seem stronger.
This was most apparent when he unwisely opted to do a cover of the Garth Brooks power anthem Ain't Goin' Down Til The Sun Comes Up which has some moments of high voice demand and he could not live up to it.
On the other hand, his rendition of Free Fallin' was right in his vocal wheelhouse and he used that showmanship to make it his own. It was a nice moment.
Back on the "however" side, I don't usually notice or give a damn about what a musician wears on stage, but that footwear Smith insisted on wearing looked like cowboy boots designed by the Tajikistan Space Program. The kindest word for them was "distracting."
Plus there was the bold use of the word "dip" he insisted on flashing, which, for those of you who never considered injecting cancer into your face, is a nickname for tobacco. It was a wee bit alarming to see someone proudly stumping for the stuff.
Then came the jets of fire, the blinding lights, the giant screen of visual stimulation, and an inflatable forest that set the stage for Florida Georgia Line. If it was a party you wanted, this was a burst of Vegas just for us. The hit-makers descended from the ceiling on drop-down platforms, and the hits poured out all over the arena. Song after song, it was like a radio got struck by alien lightning and came to enormous life.
If all you wanted was to get your party on with some famous masters of ceremony, CN Centre was the right place. The entertainment was an onslaught. It was full tailgate value for your concert dollar. These boys are average singers, but that's plenty to pass the bro-country test, and they are well above average in the handsome department and in their genre of music, that's what matters most.
Yes, I'm starting to get sarcastic, and that came on slowly but relentlessly as I watched the show. When you know that past country duos like Brooks & Dunn and Big 'n' Rich have stood on that same stage, pouring their souls out into music striving to be original and substantial, it gradually gagged me to see these guys doing their utmost to blanket the crowd in generic pap.
The songs are fun to listen to, they give drums and guitars a lot of room to rock wild, but if you haven't downed that third beer its hard to miss that they don't have any real food on the menu.
I am not one who faults Hubbard and Kelley for the entire state of country music these days. I acknowledge they have some music skills and I appreciate their dedication to giving their fans a good time. But it does bug me heavily when Kelley getting a fan to tie his shoe was literally the only verifiably unscripted thing that happened on stage that night. All the in-between banter, all the "chit chat" they engaged in was disengaged. Other than saying "Prince George" and "on a Wednesday night" over and over again, there was no evidence that this was a personal experience for them, which dulls the personal experience for the crowd. They really should take notes at a Keith Urban show. He would be Anne Rice to their Twilight Saga material.
FGL presents a version of country. It's not invalid and it's not wrong. In fact, it's really fun, and they are better at it than most, but for those with ears and memories they are also unfortunate ambassadors of a sad reality. Nashville seems to be overrun by songwriters whose only degrees on the wall come from thermometers indicating the heat. And that's all a song needs these days.
If you get stuck for an idea, just add some fire and nobody'll notice.
