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Art helps to overcome adversity

Local artist Sandee Bartsch decided her 60s will be her best decade ever. Here is her story on how she got through her traumatic 50s.

The fifth decade of her life was a beast but now local artist Sandee Bartsch understands this next decade is set for transformation.

Losses are always heavy burdens to carry but so many in such a short time was almost too much for Bartsch.

“My 50s truly were the most tragic years of my life,” Bartsch said. “At 50, I was diagnosed with throat cancer, at 52 I lost my mom to lung cancer, at 54 I lost my father to suicide, at 55 my only son suddenly passed away, at 57 there was a serious car accident in the United States, at 59 I survived a global pandemic.”

Her lowest time was that of the sudden death of her son.

The medication her beloved 29-year-old Ben had taken was from an order off the Internet and he was given the wrong dosage. Instead of 100 pills he was sent 10 but the dosage that was meant for the 100 was condensed into those 10 little poison pills. Bartsch will shout it from the roof tops - don’t order medication from the Internet!

“Once he took the pill, he only had minutes to live,” Bartsch explained.

She lived through every mother’s nightmare, losing her only son and tried to reconcile with what happened so unnecessarily.

She knows there is a reason she had to go through that pain and grief process and she will be writing her memoir as part of her own healing journey but also to perhaps help those going through the same type of loss. Because losing a child is its own special brand of pain that no parent should have to experience, she said.

“What I want my book to be is half writing and half art journal because when you share art it goes beyond words,” Bartsch explained.

Right now Bartsch, as fate would have it, has crossed paths with several mothers - mostly through social media - who have lost a child - when she connects with someone who has experienced this most painful loss she creates memory lockets for the mothers and without telling them, she quietly sends them along to the grieving mom.

Her book will be a similar gift, she hopes, to those grieving as she has.

Before her 50s hit, Bartsch was a life coach and only when her throat cancer diagnosis hit did she think to turn to art to help in her healing journey.

Before that her life was filled with questions.

“Why are we here? What’s the meaning of life? All those big philosophical questions,” Bartsch said. “I just had all of these questions for probably a decade but then when I got cancer it got real simple. It narrowed down to two things - love and regret. Did you love? Did you heal some relationships that were broken? Do your kids know that you love them? Does your husband? Did you give love, did you receive love? But the other thing that was really important was regret.

At 50 years old I had never done art and I was so mad at myself - because you don’t know if you’ll get a second chance - and so I was thinking ‘I can’t believe I didn’t do art!’ I said to myself ‘if I get through this I’m going to build myself a studio and I’m going to take classes and yada yada yada.”

The hits just kept on coming and there was even a serious issue with her heart that came on suddenly at the tail end of her 50s.

In that panic-riddled time, there was a moment she will never forget.

“As I was being wheeled down the hall in the hospital, my heart pounding out of my chest - as they took me for tests I looked up and saw the flourescent lights going by and in that moment I knew I wanted to live,” Bartsch said. “I. Wanted. To. Live. Not just exist. But to really live and lead a joyful meaningful life.”

And that’s exactly what she’ll do.

When Bartsch recently turned 60, she made a decision.

“My 60s are going to be the best decade of my life,” Bartsch said. “Because there are so many things I want to do I want to feel good - not fatigued or tired - I have three grandchildren now and it’s not about looking sexy any more it’s more about having a good quality of life.”

To that end Bartsch recently shed 30 pounds by changing her eating habits and in the winter she’ll be picking up the weights to make sure she is strong and healthy for the future.

As a way to celebrate this new chapter in her life, Bartsch did a photo shoot with a professional photographer, hair stylist and makeup artist.

“I want to inspire other people who have gone through so much and I want people to see the pictures and say ‘Wow! I know what she’s been through  - and if she can do that I can do that’ and that’s what it’s all about - giving back.”