I am angry about all the hurt, the pain and denial out there. Addiction strikes about one in 10, so the next time you are in a classroom, a meeting, workplace or bus, take a gander around and estimate how many might be secretly addicted or impaired near you.Then consider their impact on others, how widespread their disease is and how far it reaches beyond only you.
Mothers, fathers, children, nephews, cousins, employers, sisters, brothers, grandparents, foster parents, government (in terms of costs), doctors, nurses, lawyers, coworkers, police, ambulance attendants, funeral directors, morticians, journalists, reporters, employees and friends - even strangers hit by drunk drivers and onlookers are all impacted by this deadly disease.
We live in such utter denial about its harmful reach - people who vape, smoke, gamble, overeat, undereat, drink, drug, have excessive sex, watch too much porn, masturbate too much, overspend, hoard, continually seek love, play endless video games, are addicted to anger or rage, take steroids, overwork, overexercise, compulsively wash - each of these people impact us all.
I become curious about those who previously raged on Facebook then suddenly stopped. I fear you have retreated or worse, are living in denial about the impact of all this. You stopped commenting - perhaps thinking your silence conveys you are OK - while I am thinking your anger does not.
I am not here to incite rage but rather to help. When people refuse to comment and remain in their pain (by simmering in silence), then this is what worries me most as you truly are hurt. The disease of addiction loves to silence all those around - it loves to go underground, into the dark, this is where addiction flourishes most.
People rage against the alcoholic/addict and say we must stop; they point their finger at us while three fingers point right back at them. Dr. Phil says it best - "there's something about that person that I don't like about me."
I isolate because people reflect me back to me. I can't be me because of people like you, who unconsciously rage against people like me. Pain begets more pain and increases mine - and when in my pain, I reach for more wine (whine/anger/drugs).
Life is too deadly to be taken seriously all of the time.
People wonder why it is so hard for addicts to seek help.All I can say is look in the mirror to see why that might be.I see me wherever I go; I isolate at times because it is hard to see me, reflected in you.
You are unconsciously hurt and refuse to admit this; you have denial, just like within us.
You are not like the addict you might unconsciously scream; unfortunately, your unacknowledged pain/anger comes out sideways when dealing with us. You rage online, you rage against addicts like me who do exactly the same thing when we rage against you. You, like the addict, blame us for your pain. You, like the addict, refuse to seek help.
am grateful to have a program to lean on, a higher power which guides me each day. I am not religious, but spiritual in nature. It bears repeating that addicts are frustrated mystics who constantly seek greater purpose in life. When we discover alcohol or drugs we think: "Finally the answer, the hole in my soul is filled from these drugs!"
We mistakenly believe we have found our answer, the meaning in life through intoxicated states, so when the drugs turn we grow frustrated and rage.Twelve step programs bring us a life lasting peace - they provide us purpose and meaning in life. We no longer suffer.
Ironically, it's no longer yet always, all about me (and you, if you have the courage to step up beside us).
- Questions for Ann? Send your submissions (anonymously, if you choose) to [email protected] and we'll pass them along.
