At first glance, the suggestion by Abbotsford city councillor Simon Gibson that Prince George should change its name is laughable -at second glance, too.
After all, if the residents of Dildo, Newf.; Intercourse, Pennsylvania; Hell, Michigan; Forget, Sask.; and Fanny Bay, B.C. have stuck by their town's names, it seems cowardly to give up on Prince George.
But maybe it's just because Gibson's ideas seriously lack inspiration.
Northern Empire, B.C.? Carries shades of something sinister. Future City, B.C.? Sounds like something out of the Jetsons. And who'd want be called a Northern Hubber?
However, changing a city's established name is not as outrageous as it may seem.
Prior to its 1915 incorporation as Prince George, the region's colonial settlement was named Fort George for over 100 years.
And centuries before Simon Fraser established the fateful fort, the Lheidli T'enneh people had a name for their confluence of two rivers. Come to think of it, if anybody should have the right to rename the city, it should be its original inhabitants.
The renaming of the Queen Charlotte Islands to Haida Gwaii in June, 2010 created a precedent for abolishing the "musty, old-fashioned," colonial-era name Gibson objects to.
But perhaps, as Gibson seems to believe, we should consider something fun, hip and 21st Century.
Since the news of Gibson's suggestion broke, the Internet has been a-Twitter with alternative suggestions.
While What's That Smell, B.C. has a brutal, comic honesty which would put the city on the map, there are some practical difficulties associated with the name. Who'd want to cheer for the What's That Smell hockey team, or get dressed up to go see the What's That Smell Symphony Orchestra?
Instead, we could look at optimizing the marketing opportunities, as seen with the farming town of Vulcan, Alta. Its residents capitalized on the town's name by hosting an annual Star Trek convention, which draws Trekkies from around the world.
Prince George could consider changing its name to Tatooine, Alderaan or Death Star, B.C. in the hopes of drawing gaggles of Star Wars fans.
Of course, getting the blessing of Star Wars creator George Lucas would be essential before making such a move. City Hall can't repel a lawsuit of that magnitude.
Or dollars could be found in corporate sponsorship. If the naming rights to an arena or sports field are worth millions of dollars, what would a city of 80,000 be worth? If the price was right, we could become Pepsi, B.C., Canfor, B.C. or CN Rail, B.C.
Distasteful? Maybe there's more to a name than mere money after all. History, identity, pride, community -there's no price tag for those. And after 100 years, Prince George suits this city just fine -warts and all.
But if Abbotsford city councillor Simon Gibson wants to rename something, perhaps he could start closer to home. Councillor Lowermainland Knowitall of Just More Vancouver, B.C. sounds perfect.
-- Prince George Citizen
