When asked about regrets at the end of their careers, most retired police officers say the same thing. It's not the horror or the violence that stays with them because if it did, they wouldn't be able to remain effective at their job.
What does linger, however, are the unsolved cases and the missing never found.
Police officers are no different from the rest of us in their desire for resolution and justice. They know better than most that the world isn't fair or even kind but that doesn't stop that human desire for answers and for meaning.
Even in their retirement, many investigators catch themselves dwelling about the mysteries that remained mysteries, wondering if the solution was right there under their nose or if one more question of one more suspect might have solved the case.
At the end of the day, policing is a people business and some cases become deeply personal and an obsession for investigators. That became clear last September when police revealed that they had linked U.S. serial killer Bobby Jack Fowler to the 1974 death of 16-year-old Colleen MacMillen, as well as Gale Weys and Pamela Darlington.
Since December, Canadian officers have been talking to their American counterparts about another serial killer, Israel Keyes, who spent time in B.C. in 2005 and 2007. He has yet to be connected to any B.C. murders, however.
In that light, this week's news that investigators continue to pursue the Nicole Hoar case is encouraging. It was Hoar's disappearance during the summer of 2002 that brought the Highway of Tears and the numerous missing and murdered women last seen on highways in the central Interior to full public awareness.
Trying to crack cold cases is an exercise in patience, frustration and perseverance. It must be the equivalent of being stuck in a corn maze and wondering if there actually is a way out. In the Hoar case, the only evidence a crime has been committed so far is her absence. Finding her body would fill a piece of the puzzle but there would still be the matter of finding out who is responsible for her disappearance.
We all know the RCMP is not perfect, nor are the men and women who wear the uniform. They could always do a better job reducing the mistakes they make and taking responsibility for their errors.
Perhaps they didn't pursue the missing and murdered women's cases as soon as they should have and as seriously as they should have. It's easy to see the dots, however, when you're told to go looking for dots. It's not just a matter of seeing the links and connections, it's about putting them in context. That takes creative intelligence, diligence and time.
According to a TV cop show, murders never die and neither do murder investigations. The Mounties may not always get their man but their continued efforts on the Hoar case and others show they're still trying.
We can only hope - for the investigators and for the families and friends of the missing and murdered - that resolution for them is one lucky break, one more interview, one more phone call, one more question away.
