A wayward baboon that apparently escaped from an amusement park and became a mini-celebrity - appearing at a golf course and being followed on Twitter - was captured Saturday after spending three days on the lam.
The animal appeared to be unharmed when it was found and tranquilized at a farm in southern New Jersey. The farm isn't far from Six Flags Great Adventure's Monkey Jungle in Jackson Township, which has about 150 baboons that are part of a drive-through safari.
Park officials confirmed the capture and said they believed the animal was theirs. But they won't know for sure until it's assessed and they can see if it has a microchip that's embedded in all their baboons.
Wait a minute. I don't even have a Twitter account yet this wayward baboon seems to have the time - while on the lam from the local zoo - to Tweet to his followers what he is up to.
Tweet: "Made a break for freedom while the zookeeper was busy watching the monkeys fornicating for the 12th time today..."
Tweet: "Tried a round of golf but no one seemed to want to hit a round with me... heading to local farm to check out the donkeys."
Tweet: "Tired of seeing the Six Flags ad on TV every 10 minutes, might try to make it to P.G., heard there are some council members there that bear a likeness to me, OW, think I just got tranquilized..."
A little sex would go a long way
Some looney Michigan jail inmate says he's being subjected to cruel and unusual punishment while in jail, and so he has filed a nice little lawsuit over it.
Kyle Richards says his civil rights are being violated and denying his request for erotic material subjects him to a "poor standard of living" and "sexual and sensory deprivation."
Evidently, if we go by Richards explanation, you don't have to be incarcerated in a Michigan Jail to be the subject of cruel and unusual punishment due to lack of "sexual and sensory deprivation," you just have to be a married man.
Richards should be thanking his lucky stars that his cell mate hasn't offered (forced) to cull his sexual and sensory deprivation by providing Richards with his own version of pornagraphy.
It boggles the mind.
Please keep your clothes on
Naturists turned out at a courthouse in Ontario's cottage country recently in support of a man who was challenging the constitutionality of Canada's nudity laws.
Lawyers for Brian Coldin have argued that it should no longer be a criminal offence to be naked in public.
Obviously Coldin's lawyers have yet to see him naked.
Coldin was on trial for showing up nude at a local Tim Hortons and an A&W restaurant, which gives new meaning to the term "carrying a sagging bag with a long John and and a couple of TimBits."
Stephane Deschenes, who owns a nearby naturist park says he wants Coldin to win since he doesn't believe nudity should be a criminal offence on par with murder, robbery and assault.
I have to agree, after all, there is no record of anyone being bludgeoned to death by the sight of a naked middle-aged man. However, there may be several instances of self-mutilation or even suicide by people who have been so grossed out by the sight they couldn't take it any more.
Crown attorney Zachary Green is arguing the law is less of an infringement on Coldin's rights to be nude than it is on those forced to see him without clothes.
I totally and utterly agree. After all there are some people who just should not be seen naked, and I happen to one of them. Just ask my wife.
