We have all dialed a phone to call a friend or order dinner only to discover we got the wrong number. It can sometimes be a little embarrassing.
Maybe you called the pizza joint but accidentally called anorexics anonymous and felt really guilty afterwards.
On one occasion I even went to pick up pizza my wife ordered, only I went to the wrong pizza place. What was even worse was they gave me two pizzas and sent me on my way.
It was only when I got home and my wife opened the boxes did she smell something funny, and it wasn't the food.
After grilling me with questions under a very bright 100-watt light bulb for several minutes, she discovered I had gone to the wrong place and picked up someone else's pizza.
Now, as bad as that may seem, it is nothing compared to a man in Campbell River who called police headquarters to score some drugs.
How stupid or doped up do you have to be to call the police for some illegal drugs?
"Hey honey, what's the number for our local drug dealer? Are you sure? Cause I don't want to end up calling the police by mistake again. That was really embarrassing the last time and it took years before they stopped ribbing me about it."
Not only did this guy call the police for drugs, but he called them a second time to confirm the meeting and ask the officer if he was willing to trade some Oxys for $100 worth of drugs.
What a maroon.
The guy was arrested when he showed up for the meeting.
Charges of being totally stupid are pending.
Speaking of stupid... Roy Lester, a 61-year-old lifeguard from Long Beach, New York has been told that he has to wear skimpy swimming briefs instead of the cycling shorts he prefers, and as far as I am concerned, the Office of Parks, Recreation and Historic Preservation, whom Lester sued, is totally wrong.
Who in their right mind wants to see a 61-year-old in skimpy swim trunks?
A law should have been introduced a long time ago banning all, especially hairy men, from wearing such trunks in public.
Now, there are some people who don't mind seeing young, fit males in a pair of swim trunks resembling a marble pouch. But who wants to be lying on a beach only to have a 61-year-old wearing such a body-hugging device stand over them? And what function could that possibly have? Any instruction he may be giving you will only go in one ear and out the other.
Maybe the donkeys at the Office of Parks, Recreation and Historic Preservation should all be forced to wear the junk-hugging briefs they wanted Mr. Lester to don and spend a day patrolling the frigid waters of Long Island, and then make an informed decision if Lester's cycling trunks are indeed appropriate apparel.
The shrinkage factor alone may cause them to change their minds.
