Most of us have a parent that we have not been able to hug in the last few months. Most of us know someone who had tests, procedures, or surgeries delayed. We bore it in good humour for the most part. The announced dangers of opening too early, the daily reminders to follow the many, often confusing and contradictory guidelines or rules, were heard and followed by a good majority of people. Enough so that we did flatten the curve.
The heaviest sacrifices, however, have been made by those who have died alone or watched their loved one die alone, or just got a call that their loved one died without any family present because of the restrictions on “non-essential” visitors. We know that most hospital and long-term care staff did their best to comfort the dying, but a stranger is no substitute for a family member. Those left behind will always carry the trauma of not being able to be with their dying parent, spouse, or worse yet, their child, in their dying hours.
People die alone all the time, but not on purpose. Being forced to do so, even if to save others, adds a layer of trauma to the grief. Here are some stories revealed by a quick internet search of those who obeyed the public health directives. You will likely have your own stories:
-CTV News March 27th, 81-year-old Bernice Fiala could only have one family member with her.
-A CBC article dated April 30 begins “Jennifer Patrick was terrified of dying alone.” But she did. The article goes on: “Mubarak Popat, despite both daughter and son-in-law working in the hospital where he died, had to die alone.”
-Guelph Today, May 24th: Twenty-two-year-old Adam Aelick’s “…family was beyond heartbroken that they couldn’t be at Aelick’s bedside as he died, but instead were forced to stand outside and watch him (die) through glass.”
-Ottawa Citizen, June 9 “Louise Savoie was required to look at her (83-year-old) mother through a window and see her take her last breath rather than sitting by her bed holding her hand.”
These families will bear not only the grief but also the guilt of not being there. They will question their compliance, for not insisting to be present. They will feel guilt for not risking arrest, to be there for their loved one's last hours.
This guilt will be increased due to the choice of our prime minister to flagrantly disobey the rules. Despite stating a few days prior that the danger was not past, that it was still very serious, and very important to follow all the public health guidelines.
Instead of finding an appropriate physically-distant way to support and acknowledge the anti-racist protests, our prime minister has heaped guilt on those who have suffered and will suffer, the most. People have died alone to obey the government directive he endorsed and proclaimed daily.
Justin Trudeau ignored the rules that were obeyed at great cost by those he swore to serve.
Shame on him.
