After graduating from UBC, but before having kids, I worked full time for many years. I enjoyed the variety of employment that recent graduates, just starting out, experiment with: serving drinks at a pub, selling radio advertising, shelving books at a library, and supervising an environmental youth team. Each job came with a degree of stress and challenge.
Well, maybe not working in a library, but the rest of the jobs did.
During this period of time, when I met women who had children, I thought nothing of asking them if they worked or stayed at home.
Worked. Or stayed at home. As though, by staying at home, no real work was being done.
It wasn't meant as an insult. But I naively assumed that full-time paid employment was work whereas staying at home was a simple, more laid-back, existence. I reasoned that moms who stayed at home with their kids had it easier: you could wear your comfy clothes all day, go for walks, have time to cook interesting meals, take naps, and otherwise tick things off your to-do list in the comfort of your home.
Fast forward to 40 with three kids. Even the higher-level management jobs I've held since my inexperienced 20s never prepared me for the bone-aching, nerve-racking, mentally-trying 'work' of full time parenthood. Parents reading this will be nodding in agreement. The kid-free readers may try to empathize but won't truly understand. Either way, I won't go into the specific parenting misconceptions I held in my youth, but suffice to say, that even in my sleep-indulged state with an abundance of quiet moments to consider life's mysteries, I was completely clueless.
Today, after a week overseas enjoying a holiday with my family, the value of housework and childcare has never seemed clearer. Like most vacations, this time of relaxation has provided a break from the mundane chores of home and child-rearing. We now pay for every service we experience here that normally falls on the 'stay-at-home' parent and when I add the cost up it is considerable: $15 for two loads of laundry service, $50 for lunch, $100 for dinner, $30 for housekeeping services, $10 for shuttle service, $40 per child for kids' camp (basically daycare), and on and on. A family could easily spend $300 to $400 a day on an incomplete list of the various work that is often done by a parent who stays at home with young children. Most people tend to understate the value of the work done by stay-at-home moms, or dads as is the case nowadays. As I've demonstrated above, true currency can be attached to every item on the 'stay-at-home' parent's job description, making the grand total shockingly high.
Consequently, rather than ask whether a new acquaintance works full time or stays at home with the kids, I inquire, "Do you work in the home or outside of the home?" Just because stay-at-home parents don't get paid, doesn't mean that real work isn't being contributed.
It's too bad we can't find a way to recognize what the value of this unpaid work means to our economy because, if we could, the Canadian Gross Domestic Product would be the envy of all nations.
Until next week, stay in the black and keep coming back.
