What is the first step you took to get sober?What would you suggest for me?
Good question; unfortunately though, as with any chronic medical disease (such as addiction or diabetes), additional details are required.
The problem with addiction is the (false) belief that one size fits all.Evidence shows that gender, age, length of use, lifestyle, drug of choice and past attempts at recovery, all play a role in management of the disease. With diabetics, we would never say to them, without knowing their history, "just take insulin shots." However with addiction we do; people often give/try the two word, 'one size fits all approach' of "just stop."
This is misguided, unhelpful and wrong. If we could "just stop" there wouldn't be, a problem. Remember, addiction means we can NOT "just stop."
As you may or may not recall, I am an addict/alcoholic but also an academic. I work in the field. I have professional relationships with alcoholics, addicts, teenagers, families and mental health clients (comorbidity is common).I draw from vast personal and professional experience, a combination which I think is unique.
I can offer suggestions in a general way but please know I am able to access a wide range of resources and people (addiction professionals and those in recovery). If you need assistance, Prince George has great services.When someone asks for help, quick action is vital.Too much time to think often leads to more time, to drink.
If you have a doctor you trust, start there for guidance and support.
Addiction is chronic, progressive, relapsing and remitting. I cannot stress this enough. As mentioned in earlier columns, I believed that if I "just stopped," all my problems would be solved. They were not.Due to not adequately treating my disease, I frequently relapsed.
A good recovery program should be tailored to fit. Many rehabs use confrontational models which for women, often don't work.Trauma is prevalent, shame is rampant. Beating someone up (in other words, confronting with anger) is often counterproductive.
I also do not believe in cutting all ties but do disagree with enabling.When my entire family left, except for one brother, I then had nothing; my lifeline was gone.My brother did not agree with my use, but he did let me know he was there for me when I chose to change.
There are many options out there.
Based on the many questions about help, I will write in my next column about twelve step programs.There are so many misconceptions about 12 steps which I wish to address.In the meantime, if you are looking for help, please email the editor, with specific details about your particular situation.
He will keep you anonymous.
