Gandhi said, "Your beliefs become your thoughts, your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become your habits, your habits become your values, your values become your destiny."
I think that we have always known that Gandhi is correct in what he states, but today scientific research is actually able to prove it.
We live in a society where marriages ending in divorce has become the norm. We are struggling to understand why and to understand what we can do about it. A recent study done at the Gottman Institute at the University of Washington shed some light on this issue. They found that if a person regularly speaks in a condescending way to their partner, there is a 93 per cent chance the marriage will end in divorce. Where do condescending remarks come from? They come from a person's thoughts. One can only speculate as to why a person would hold certain negative beliefs and choose to express them, but the result is that the words create a toxic environment that stands a very good chance of eventually destroying the marriage. The negative beliefs and thoughts eventually become reality.
On the contrary, several other studies have demonstrated that gratitude brings happiness and longevity to marriage. This goes beyond the simple saying of "thank you" to another person. There is a conscious feeling of gratefulness for one's partner and for all that this person is and does. One is also grateful for who one is in the relationship. This again proves what Gandhi told us. When we have thoughts of gratitude, we speak sweet words, try to do kind things for our partners, and thus create harmony and happiness in our lives. Our thoughts, once again, become our destiny.
The lessons we learn by studying marital relationships can also be applied elsewhere in our lives. I know, for example, that as a teacher, if I embrace negative thoughts of my students and speak to them in a condescending way, we are all in for a difficult and unpleasant experience. If I create a positive environment, one where my students know that I am grateful to be with them, that they are valued and respected, and that I see a bright future in front of them, the result will be a vibrant and positive learning environment.
There is a philosophy in Western society that we have to "tell it like it is". Well, that is true. If what we "tell" is predominantly negative, we will get negative results. We are right. At the same time, if what we "tell" is positive, we will get positive results. Again, we are right.
We really do become what we think about. We create our realities. Sages throughout time have always told us this. Today scientific research is affirming these teachings. Ultimately it is up to each one of us to choose what we believe and think, and thus how we speak and act. If we do this with the awareness that we are creating our destinies, then hopefully we will choose wisely.
