I am riding on a brand-new state of the art, electric mail ship. It is the Royal Canadian Electric Mail Ship Titan, hereafter to eternity called the RCEMS Titan.
Almost nine years to build, it is a marvel of environmental engineering. The RCEMS Titan required multiple levels of carbon pricing, hereafter known as taxes, to construct. The Titan was so expensive to build that the Canadian economy is just about bust. But I am sailing along with a great captain, a captain so great that he spun the Canadian economy on a dime just to get the Titan built.
As we sailed on the maiden voyage, the going was at first pretty rough. A pesky new disease called Covid 19 reared its ugly head and caused all kinds of problems. Pesky truck drivers just about revolted; they were refusing to deliver the caviar for the maiden voyage. But he smartened them up, declared the Emergency Act and seized their bank accounts. They were forced back to work, the price of caviar spiked, and they had to raise the carbon tax to pay for it all. But lots of caviar on board.
As the maiden voyage came close to an end, the captain just had to find a way to get a little extra charge in the batteries for the home stretch. He found a friend that would lend electricity for the price of a dental plan.
The end of the voyage is near, the radar operator just reported a few ice cubes ahead. But the RCEMS Titan is a great ship, the fearless captain said we will just sail right through to our destiny: a far off land called the Land of Free For Everything!
Wayne Martineau
Fraser Lake
