One a day. Every day.
That's roughly how many domestic violence files the Prince George RCMP open. Over the last five years, the average has been 341 annually.
These are not just files where the neighbours heard the folks next door having a loud argument and some doors slamming. These are serious incidents and they make up a significant portion (one in five) of the cases involving violence requiring police intervention.
Better late than never, a team has been assembled to attack this problem. An RCMP officer, a victim services worker and a child protection worker will make up the domestic violence unit at the local detachment. It's the ninth such unit established in B.C.
The unit's work will coincide with an existing program offered by the Northern John Howard Society. STOP (Stop Taking it Out on your Partner) is for men who have been abusive and want to do something about it but it is also for men who show violent tendencies in relationships but haven't crossed that line yet. There is also one-on-one and couples counselling available. The program offers anger management techniques right through to effective communication and having fun in relationships.
This is not a good time to be a man, we're told.
Hanna Rosin devoted an entire book - The End of Men - to explore how globalization and the information economy, combined with social and technological change, has devastated traditional male roles. The vast majority of the jobs that have been lost and the industries that have moved offshore have been male dominated and the growing employment sectors in both the public and private sectors are largely female dominated. The hard sciences and engineering remain the sole holdouts occupied primarily by men among the highly educated fields but women are going into those professions in ever increasing numbers.
The Globe and Mail's Margaret Wente pointed out in her Saturday column that the United States has a significant ongoing problem with adult male unemployment. The lack of faith in public institutions and the fear and distrust of authority those men have has been used by Donald Trump to power his presidential bid. It will need to be meaningfully addressed by whoever becomes president, Wente argues. In a disturbing essay published in the Globe, academics Jack Goldstone and Thomas Homer-Dixon point out that these social conditions are ripe for would-be dictators. Trump has already shown a willingness to disparage anyone and anything blocking his way to the White House, to the delight of millions of his supporters. Once in power, he would blame Congress and the courts - the balancing checks on presidential authority - for domestic problems, drawing further power and authority to himself.
Heading into tonight's final presidential debate with Hillary Clinton, Trump is already talking about a rigged election, discrediting the very system Americans have used to peacefully elect presidents for nearly 250 years. Outgoing president Barack Obama is having none of it, calling out Trump on Tuesday.
"You start whining before the game's even over?" Obama taunted.
That mockery - man to man - may be old-fashioned and unsophisticated but it's exactly what's needed now, whether the issue is dealing with a spoiled brat who wants to be president, a generation of coddled boys who want to earn big money doing physical work with having to pay attention in school, just like their dads did, or angry and frustrated men who think authority at home is a fist applied to their spouse's face.
Stop your whining.
Be a man, not a boy.
A boy hits. A man protects.
A boy blames others and lashes out when he doesn't get his way. A man blames himself first and then does what he has to do to fix the problem.
A boy believes his family should take care of him. A man believes he should take care of his family, starting with putting their needs and wants before his own.
Addiction is a disease but too many men have used their disease as an excuse to not take responsibility for themselves and their families. Blaming addiction is a boy's answer, not a man's. Same goes for abuse, lack of education and lack of opportunity. Even physical and mental health issues offer limited cover. A boy complains about what he doesn't have, a man works hard with what he's got to provide for himself and his loved ones. A boy wants respect, a man earns it and keeps earning it.
When did it fall from fashion to be so honest with our men? When did tough love stop being tough?
American men should be appalled at the prospect of electing the world's richest crybaby as their president, a man who will stomp his foot and cry unfair on election night if he doesn't get his way.
Local men should be ashamed that local police spend so much of their time attending to domestic violence. They should challenge each other to be better, offering mentorship and support, along with accountability.
Men still have plenty to offer their partners, their children, their communities and society in an era that has redefined masculinity.
All we have to do is grow up first.
