It was mostly a lonely summer in 1972 when we moved to Aldergrove, but our isolation was interrupted one morning when four or five of the neighborhood boys showed up at the house to beat me up.
Mom had gone to work and my older sister answered the door, gleefully surrendering me to the welcoming crew.
I tried to negotiate from the living room window, and, sizing them up, figured I could take a couple of the skinnier ones, but one of them was easily a foot taller than me and outweighed me by something like 50 pounds.
He was clearly the ringleader, and kept pounding his right fist in to the palm of his left hand as he looked at me menacingly. He mumbled something about his girl having dropped by my house to visit me and what did I think I was doing honing in on his territory. (For goodness sakes, we were 11!)
Eventually I realized that I had to make a stand or be labeled a coward in the new town. Then a thought came to my mind.
"OK," I smirked, "I'll be out there in two minutes."
Dad had always said it was best to take on the biggest guy and the rest would take care of itself.
It was more like five minutes, but I strolled out grinning ear to ear, hoping to avoid a fight, but ready if it didn't work. I had a hockey helmet on my head, gloves and a stick in hand, shin pads on my lower legs, and for the crowning jewel, I had pulled my cup over my jeans. It was a goofy risk, calculated to a) provide me with a measure of weaponry and protection and b) potentially catch them off guard and convince them that I was not capable of stealing anyone's girlfriend.
In my best Gomer Pyle impression, I went face-to-face with the unfriendly giant and slapped myself in the helmet with my hockey stick, yelping at the top of my lungs: "Gawwlleeee Sheriff! I shore do like to play me a game a hackey!" In my enthusiasm I spat a little in his face, inadvertently. Oh-oh.
Silence - my eyes squirrelly - my legs ready to run if necessary. The goon wiping his cheek.
Glancing left then right at the bewildered looks of his entourage, the big kid looked back at my consistently freakish grin, my gamely eyes, and finally broke a smile himself, as he reached up and put a hand on my shoulder.
"You are one crazy little toad-licking weirdo! Welcome to Aldergrove!"
Moving and still more year-end Tax Tidbits:
The anxiety of moving can be a real challenge for families. But at least there are some potential tax deductions to consider. As outlined in the Canada Revenue Agency website, you can claim eligible moving expenses if you move and establish a new home for work, to run a business, or to take post-secondary training at the new location.
To qualify, your new home must be at least 40 kilometres (by the shortest usual public route) closer to the new place of work or school.
Individuals are subject to provincial taxes based on their province of residence on Dec. 31.
The top combined federal/provincial rates range from 40.25 per cent in Alberta to 54.75 per cent in New Brunswick.
If you are moving to a province with a lower tax rate, you may consider moving prior to year-end. If you are moving to a province with higher tax rates, you may consider delaying your permanent move until early 2016.
Tax tips for
business owners
Pay salaries/dividends before year-end. If you operate your own business, consider paying salaries to yourself and family members before year-end. This year-end payment will give your family member earned income so they can make an RRSP contribution the following year. The payment will also give your business a tax deduction in the current year. The salary paid must be reasonable based on the services performed by your family member. A good rule of thumb is to pay your family member what you would have paid someone who isn't related to you.
If your incorporated business has family member shareholders in a lower tax bracket, consider paying them a tax-advantaged dividend to income split.
Purchase assets for your business. If you intend to purchase equipment assets for your business, consider making this purchase before year-end. If the asset is available for use, the business can claim depreciation for tax purposes.
Generally only half of the regular allowable depreciation can be claimed in the first year of an asset purchase, but buying it late in the year can still work to your advantage.
As always, this article is not meant as individualized tax or legal advice. Readers should consult their own professionals before proceeding with a strategy.
Mark Ryan is a financial advisor with RBC Wealth Management, Dominion Securities (member CIPF) in Prince George, and can be reached at [email protected].
