What's the matter with me? Why can't I feel what normal, decent people feel?
The questions come to mind after watching the B.C. Federation of Labour's pre-election campaign kick-off, a TV commercial about an adorable toddler.
Depending on your interpretation, her first steps, the little ball she's carrying or her entire future are threatened by the re-election of a B.C. Liberal government.
Every second of the 30-second clip is designed to be as evocative and heart-wrenching as possible.
But I get stuck on the scheming manipulation that went into it.
It's the same reaction that kicks in when the government or the B.C. Liberal Party broadcast their stirring vignettes.
The government aired a bit this year about the $1,200 education-training grant for children.
An ethnically-balanced quartet of cute elementary kids are running together as the voiceover goes on about the strongest economy in the country and the balanced budget.
When it comes to the part about handing out free money to 450,000 kids, they reach the finish line and raise their arms triumphantly.
It's crafted to be a cheerful little message about help available for getting the kids to university.
There are other versions about other programs, most of them stuffed with happy children.
But all I think about is the creative crew behind the camera ruthlessly milking every shot for the maximum amount of sentiment and political spin.
And the fact that we all paid for it.
Exploiting children has been the go-to move for commercial producers for generations. When the political crowd adopts that strategy, it gets a little cloying.
The B.C. Fed's commercial shows a one-year-old in a pink dress taking her first wobbly steps.
"Wouldn't it be something if she had a government that worked for her?" asks the narrator.
He mentions the need for child care and more classrooms, so she's not lost in the crowd. (At that part, she scrunches up her face, adorably.)
"Christy Clark's Liberals have made it harder for families. But change is possible. May 9th we can choose a government that works for all of us."
At the mention of May 9, she picks up a ball and holds it up to the camera. The ball is the future, get it?
It's a wonder they didn't make her do an adorable little face plant at the mention of "Christy Clark."
Oddly enough, the ad doesn't mention exactly how they want you to vote. They forgot that advertising rule about hammering home the message. But there's not much doubt.
B.C. Liberals entered the hearts-and-minds sweepstakes way back last summer, with a commercial featuring Clark expounding to some women around the kitchen table.
Party president Sharon White alerted members to it, saying "it's a must-see," with a powerful message.
The message was simply an elementary-level economics lecture.
Keep spending under control, keep taxes low and create jobs.
"It all starts with jobs," said Clark.
"It's a way to look after the people you love."
If White thinks that's a must-see, remind me never to go to a movie with her.
The only consolation is that the party paid for it, not the taxpayers.
But Liberals have lots of other video messages out on various social media channels, and there's some crossover between the party and the government in terms of paying for the content. Some of them use clips credited to the Province of B.C. That means taxpayer-funded content was turned over to the party for its own use.
Before the 2013 election, the government staged an advertising orgy that eventually totalled
$21 million. The budget has been cut since then, but there's still some money for feel-good, blue-sky, happy-people ads.
Under the theme of "Our Opportunity Is Here," a few million dollars is available, but the amount spent won't be divulged until the public accounts are released next summer.
One of the criteria set by the government for Our Opportunity Is Here ads is unintentionally amusing. It has to be "fact-based."
There'll be lots more from all sides starting next month. For all my suspicious second-guessing, this stuff has been known to work.
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