Take a megaphone and climb to the highest mountain and then read this aloud:
To all Americans, please, please, please don't be stupid when you go to the polls today.
We Canadians beg you not to follow in our shameful footsteps by nominating an out-of-touch guy like the one we have in charge.
Please, we beg of you.
Instead, learn from our mistakes and remember all that President Obama has made possible in his four years of presidency.
He was elected because Americans were desperate to have a young(er) face and a new sense of hope (how audacious) after the eight years of nonsense George W. Bush brought to the U.S.
It's amazing how quickly things can change.
Obama is looking older, there is more salt than pepper in his hair, and today it will be decided whether the U.S.'s first African-American president will serve a second term.
At the beginning of his presidency, it seems like he could do nothing wrong.
With his moving speeches, beautiful wife and kids, he swept the nation with his oaths of change.
No one could have foreseen the challenges that Obama faced once his address was changed to 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
A recession that wouldn't quit, a car industry in the toilet and troops still fighting a war in the Middle East.
Those challenges weren't uncommon for a president.
(You have to wait, I know it's cold on the mountain, but we are almost done here, I promise.)
However having to prove his citizenship after the constant questioning from the Birthers and by those who take glee at flubbing his name and calling him Osama became ridiculous.
Not to mention the constant reminders that his middle name is Hussein.
How quickly everyone forgets, he was the president responsible for a health-care program available to the uninsured and became the first president to publicly support gay marriage.
He may not have moved mountains like he promised, but he hasn't been sitting on his laurels either.
(You can pause for a minute because I'm sure the megaphone is getting heavy. It's rounding up to the end, I promise.)
Mitt Romney would probably be a great candidate if America was in some kind of dystopian society where the priorities of what needed to get done were first and foremost the economy. If the U.S. could afford to not worry about women's rights, immigrants rights and the right to available healthcare, then Mitt is your guy.
Romney may have a firmer grasp on bringing the economy out of the pitts, but imagine all the freedoms that will be up for trade if he gets the keys to the oval office.
Obama has faced a consistent lack of respect while being the ruler of the free world. Whether it's people digging up dirt about his father, claiming that his birth announcement was a forgery or buffoons like Donald Trump inserting his nonsense whenever he pleases.
The polls say it will be a tight race, which is a terrifying thought.
(Scream this part really loud)
You don't have to be gay to recognize the Republican Party's attack on the human rights of gays, lesbians and trans-gender individuals is offensive.
You don't have to be a woman to take the Republican's attack on the rights of women personally.
You don't have to be a minority to see that Romney's constant questioning of Obama's heritage is an act of racism.
You don't have to be a tree-hugging, peace-pipe smoking hippie to understand that fracking is a horrendous idea.
Please please don't make the wrong decision today.
(You can turn off your megaphone now, climb down the mountain and hope for the best.)
-- Associate news editor Ashley MacDonald
