Not sure, but I think the Occupy supporter was comparing me to the people who killed Jesus.
"Christmas was once about the birth of a guy who eventually was a bearded, long-haired disturber of the ruling class," read his letter, which was in response to a piece I wrote in November. "He was then sold out for a bit of silver and put to death by the ruling class."
Yikes! Pontius Knox.
Yes, it's time for my annual collection of nastygrams, letters from readers who kindly helped keep my massive ego from exploding in 2011. Some examples:
After I decried the toxic nature of anonymous online comments someone posted this anonymous online comment: "Good read as usual from Victoria's favourite transvestite vampire."
After, in the same column, I wrote that the Internet gave everyone a voice, but unfortunately it was Yoko Ono's: "So, Jack, you are also a racist."
No, I'm a voicist.
But wait, a similar charge was levelled by a stranger on the street, sternly bellowing into my ear: "Write the real news, Knox, not your usual bigoted racism!"
Racism? Me? Do Albertans count?
A number of them didn't like a pre-election column that took shots at the Harper government's ethics: "I just wanted to point out that your column of today is one of the sleaziest that I have read," wrote one of several Calgarians to reply. "Slanderous, cheap, amateurish... a very good example of yellow journalism." (Thanks, I like to set a good example.)
Another from Okotoks: "I think you are a Liberal supporter who really doesn't care about the truth but just getting your gang in power." (Crips? Bloods? Bacon brothers?)
And one from B.C.: "Your column today was the meanest bunch of diatribe I have read in some time... Stephen Harper has a brilliant brain, and he's honest and a world leader."
Thanks, Mum, can I still come to supper?
Others were less concerned with what I said than how I appeared. When I donned a heart-shaped hat for a Valentine's Day column, a reader observed that the photo "looked more like a fearfully blushing Mickey Mouse who'd just been discovered doing something rather indelicate with Snow White."
Others were more forgiving of my appearance: "You look GREAT with a moustache, and I wish you'd re-grow it to make up for the high forehead," urged a post-Movember missive.
When Occupy Victoria protesters announced plans to march in the Santa CIaus Parade, I wrote "Why, couldn't they find a bunny to beat? What are they going to do next, water-board the Dalai Lama?" This prompted an all-caps reply from someone who balked at the bunny-beating bit. "THAT WAS NOT AMUSING AT ALL AND I FEEL YOU SHOULD APOLOGIZE." Presumably she was OK with water-boarding his holiness.
Worse than the rants were the gentle rebukes. When I bragged that British Columbians are the only Canadians who can go outside in February without risking frostbite, a Prince George reader reminded me that "for those of us living beyond Hope, and especially those of us in north-central B.C., it couldn't be further from reality."
After a piece on the danger of being a Bruins fans in B.C. referred to the slaughter of the crew of the trading ship Boston by Vancouver Island natives in 1803, this arrived: "I was disturbed to read the comparison of a hockey game to a historical massacre of human life and encourage you to reflect on that choice."
And on it went. When I argued that shopping online and in the U.S. hurts the local economy: "Back off Jack. I made it, paid taxes on it, and will darn right spend when, where, and on what I choose to."
Even my fellow monarchists weighed in when I expressed hope that Kate and William's wedding reception would have fewer fistfights than mine: "I highly doubt that the royal family will have any fights. Anyone with any class would not have fights at a wedding. There were none at mine; if there had been I would have been mortified. Nothing worse then slobbering drunks at a wedding. People really need to control themselves."
And even the praise was uncertain: "I enjoy your column. I always take a drink first so I can enjoy it more."
Funny, so do I.
