I was working on a more rational column this week, but I just need to rant. This time, instead of bashing those in authority, today, some self-righteous members of the general public are in my line of fiery thoughts.
I cannot believe the ignorance of people's comments in regards to kids being left in cars. I am not bashing the parents who make the horrible mistake of forgetting their kids in their vehicles while they go to work, or the parents who are running around doing errands and leave their kids in their vehicles for a few minutes. No, I am ranting at the people who think these kids would be better off apprehended by the state.
First, let me send a shout out to the amazing people who provide foster-care. They are not the problem, they are providing loving care in extremely difficult situations, so thank you for your self-less work.
The stats for children in care are, of course, biased, as the kids originate from very troubled homes. However, the numbers are startling: According to Stats Can, in 2016 in BC, 293 kids died, and 120 of those were children receiving care from the state.
With nearly 1 million kids 19 and under in BC and only roughly 8,000 in care of the state, those numbers present a huge problem for anyone declaring the state should take the kid! Do you realize saying that means these kids should rather face those odds against them rather than take a chance with their parents? Of course, these folks, or you, if you have said that, don't mean that. Then don't say it, please!
Yes, the kids in care come with baggage that puts them at higher risk, but the damage to kids from being ripped away from their not-great parents into foster homes seems to (too often) outweigh the damage they suffer from being torn from their parents. That they are placed with well-intentioned, good, "professionally-trained" foster parents, doesn't seem to mitigate this damage or to improve their outcomes significantly. The long-term outcome of kids in care is terrible too. After leaving care at age 18 they are five times more likely to die before age 25. Sad statistics. Even the slow-moving bureaucracy of the Ministry of Children and Families is beginning to see that we need to find a better way to solve family violence and abuse situations, but in the meantime:
Just stop hating on parents. It is hard enough to raise kids in our world without ignorant comments. Maybe offer to babysit so your neighbour can run errands without the kids. Now, wouldn't that be fun? More fun than making stupid comments? Okay, perhaps not more fun for everyone, but it would be more productive, and more helpful. Try that next time you feel like saying "They shouldn't be allowed to have kids!" or something else similarly stupid. Thanks!!
