Anybody who has read anything I have written in The Citizen over the last seven years or so will know that my wife often mixes up words or sayings or uses odd words from time to time.
Some of my favourites: erectile vomiting: when my son was about two years old he got sick and was puking all over the place. My wife was calling me telling me he had erectile vomiting (projectile vomiting).
She has also mixed up other sayings or words like: she doesn't have a shoulder to stand on, and my son even got on the bandwagon by saying "hey Dad, there's the secretary." What he really meant was, "hey Dad, there's the cemetery."
In the newsroom recently we had a discussion that must have lasted an hour or so about why, if we have the word strategize we don't have the word tacticize.
Then I got to thinking about words or terms I used to use a lot when growing up in Ireland, that are rarely if ever heard here, and I thought I would share some of them with you in the hopes that not only might you add them to your daily vernacular, but you might also see that we have more than one term for the word drunk.
Here goes.
Arse - your bum
Jacks - Toilet (bathroom)
Arseways - to do something the wrong way or to make a mess of it, as in, "Johnny, you're not supposed to fix the toilet like that. Jaysus, you're doin' it all arseways."
Cacks - trousers - "Did ye see yer man on the bus last night on the way home. He was so funny I was laughin' me cacks off."
Banjaxed - something is broken and can't be fixed. "Johnny, you've just banjaxed the Jacks. How am I supposed to use the Gary Glitter now."
Culchie or bogtrotter - basically people who are not from Dublin. People from the countryside. It also assumes they are a bit thick (stupid). You tell culchie jokes in Ireland the way you would tell Newfie jokes in Canada.
Cute hoor - someone who is totally untrustworthy, but generally clever. As in they do things backhandedly - usually to benefit themselves. The term is often used when talking about politicians. "He's a cute hoor that one."
Eat the head off ye - to scold or verbally attack someone. "Where is he. I'll eat the bleedin' head off him when I see him."
Eejit - an idiot. As me ma often said to me after I did something stupid or broke someting, "ye dirty lookin' eejit ye."
Gob - mouth, as in: "shut your gob"
Gobshite - idiot - Basically means, "he talks a lot of crap"
A header - not something you do with a soccer ball. Rather, someone who is a little mad and a little short on brain cells. Someone who is deemed to be mentally unstable by the local population. "Keep away from him, he's a real header."
Messages - groceries. "Where's ma?" "She's gone to the shops to get the messages."
Scarlet - embarrassed - to go red in the face. "Ah, look at her. She's bleedin' scarlet."
Scratcher - bed. "What time did you get out of the scratcher?"
Gander - to take a quick look at something. "Hey pal. Give us a gander at that, will ye."
To leg it - To run away quickly. Usually used when you have done something wrong. "Ah Jaysus lads. Here's comes the fuzz (police). We better leg it."
All of the following mean to be quite drunk and can all be prefixed by the words "he was bleedin' ..." or I was bleedin' ..." - plastered, paralytic, fluthered, langered, locked, bolloxed, buckled, gee-eyed, stocious.
Also..., out of his tree, out of his gord and off his trolly can mean very drunk.
Manky - filthy dirty. "Look at the state of that room, it's bleedin' manky."
Deadly - really good. "The concert last night was deadly."
Dog's bollocks - something that is the best. "C'mere till I tell ye. Did ye see Pongo's new skateboard. Ah man, it's the dog's bollocks, I'm tellin ye."
Dosser - someone who is useless. Prefers to fool around than to work. "He's a real dosser."
Flea rake - a comb
Catch a nav - If you have to go somewhere and you don't want to walk, don't have a vehicle and don't want to wait for a bus you might catch a nav. This is where you hop on to the back of a moving vehicle (truck, delivery van etc.) and get a ride to somewhere close to your final destination. Often you may have to catch several navs to get where you're going.
"How are ye gettin' there?" "I dunno. I'll probably just catch a nav or somehin'."
I will in me arse - I definitely will not - "Here, lend us a fiver until I get paid." "I will in me arse. Ye never paid me back the last fiver ye borrowed."
