My brother has a friend that I went to high school with and is around my age. They were roommates for years when I lived out of town.
I have no idea what he looks like, at all.I have met this fellow multiple times and I know that if I am out around town and a man with dark hair is making eye contact with me, smiling and saying hi, chances are that it is mybrother's friend Adam* (*name changed to protect the innocent). Even now, when my brother is telling me a story about what he was up to the weekend before and who he was with, he will describe Adam as, "you know, the one you never recognize."
It is utterly embarrassing. I have no idea why I cannot remember what Adam looks like.I have a rough idea about how tall he is and I think (maybe) he has brown hair but his actual face? No idea. It is like his face is scrubbed from my memory within moments of meeting him (again) for the first time. Each time we meet, it is a complete and total surprise to me.
I think to myself, "Ok this time, I will memorize his face so I don't forget what he looks like." Except, I only ever see him in passing and never more than ten minutes at a time.I spend the whole ten minutes staring at him intently with a very real likelihood that I am making him incredibly uncomfortable. From what I remember of Adam's face, I don't get the impression that he is particularly forgettable in any way however the moment he leaves my sight, his visage drifts away into nothingness in my Swiss cheese, sleep-deprived brain.
Luckily, Adam is a nice man and accepts that his friend's sister is a complete and utter flake and will never remember what he looks like. I hope that he doesn't take it personally because from what I know of him, he seems like he is a good guy with a great sense of humour.
The strange thing is, (other than the fact that his face evaporates from my memory faster than I can spend my paycheque) is that I normally have an exceptional memory. Usually, my memory for faces and names is close to perfect and I have a fantastic ability to remember the covers, titles and authors names of books that I only saw mentioned in a book review that I read twelve years ago.
Other than being a relatively lame party trick (there are surprisingly few instances where it is imperative that someone "needs" to know an author's name), my inability to remember Adam's face is a bit humiliating to me.I feel like my brain is aging and I am losing it a bit at a time.On the other hand, my newfound ability has an unintended side effect of making it seem like I am meeting lots of interesting people every day.
It is ironic to me that I now am a person who forgets people that I have met.When I was an oversensitive university student, I met a friend of a friend probably ten times and each time, she told me that we have never before and reintroduced herself. I was insulted and hurt at the time because I felt like I had a forgettable face and that I was boring. Those things still might be true however I am retrospectively forgiving the person who forgot they met me.I have to be forgiving because I have now turned into that person.
So, if I have met you before and I show zero recognition, please do not be insulted. It's not you, it's my memory. You have an interesting face and I wish I would remember what you look like (or your name) in three seconds but unfortunately my memory is eroding faster than my kids are growing up.
Sometimes I feel lucky that I have remembered to pack lunches for the kids and not forget my coffee cup on the kitchen table. It's nice to meet you (again) for the first time.
