Deepak Chopra said, "Happiness for a reason is just another form of misery because the reason can be taken away from us at any time."
Such a philosophy seems to contradict beliefs that are very prevalent in our Western society. The old love song by Tony Bennet said, "I want to be happy, but I won't be happy till I make you happy too."
If this is what we think is the source for happiness, we, according to Chopra, are indeed doomed to misery.
Ultimately, happiness is a choice, and it is a choice that we can make for ourselves alone. We cannot make another person happy, they also have to choose it for themselves. There are situations which make us feel good, like being in love, being given a gift or a compliment, having a meaningful encounter with another person, and the list goes on and on. The danger in basing our happiness on these things, however, is that they can all be taken away.
There are many people who are just happy, regardless of what is happening around them. A toddler wakes up in the morning full of joy for absolutely no other reason than the privilege of living another day on this beautiful and amazing planet.
There are also those who are able to embrace the happiness at any time, regardless of their situation.
The street children I worked with in the Congo taught me this lesson. Despite the extreme poverty of their country, the fact that they were rejected by their families and the fact that they had lived lives of suffering that no child should experience, they knew how to embrace the joy of the moment.
I recall taking them in our van to play a soccer game and hearing them sing and laugh as if everything was perfect in the world. It was simply a wonderful moment, a moment to be celebrated. I have to admit however, that almost every minute I spent with them felt this way. It was truly magical.
Viktor Frankl tells of an experience he had as a prisoner being transferred from one Nazi concentration camp to another. When he and the other prisoners realized that their new camp had no chimney, therefore no ovens, they knew that it was a work camp and not a death camp, and that they had a chance to survive. Frankl and the other prisoners cheered and embraced each other. This was radical gratitude and radical joy!
When we can let go of the reasons to be happy, the "I gotta have this to be happy," the "You have to do this for me before I'll be happy" and are simply grateful for the world around us, we find that we are indeed choosing joy.
Happiness is available to all of us, and there is no reason for it at the same time that there is every reason for it.
When we can let go of the things we "need" to be happy and simply live as a small child, astounded and grateful for everything we see, even the challenges that lie before us, we can live lives full of rapture that can never be taken away from us.
