Thanks to the internet, I was recently reunited over the phone with a dear friend who I lost contact with 35 years ago.
Citizen editor Neil Godbout informed me that he received a voice mail from a man who identified himself as a friend I had attended university with. The caller went on to tell Neil that he had read a few of my articles and requested his name and phone number be passed onto me.
When I found out this man's name, I practically screamed. It was my long lost buddy Jeff from university. We lived on the same floor in a co-ed dorm. Those were fun times. After convocation in 1986, I lost contact with Jeff and his girlfriend Melisa, who I also held in high regard.
I recognized Jeff's voice immediately. He and Melisa got married, have two grown children and have resided in Toronto for over 30 years. Jeff said he had thought of me over the years, but with a busy career and raising two kids, there was little time to spare.
The week before I called him, Jeff googled my name and came across numerous articles I had written and also articles written about me. He read a story by CBC and discovered I had been assaulted and was left with a permanent brain injury. This prompted Jeff to track me down.
During our conversation, Jeff and I laughed about the funny crazy things we did at school. We used to wrestle with each other in the dorm hallways. Jeff told me I used to beat him all the time, although I recall it was the other way around. We would hide and scare each other, chase each other up and down the hallways. Melisa often watched us and would shake her head. Jeff and I acted like siblings towards each other.
What I remember most about Jeff was what a solid, responsible and sweet guy he was. He moved to Canada from Malaysia to study, which I thought was quite courageous. Jeff was a disciplined student and was always going to the library. Not me. I majored in socializing and was constantly inviting Jeff and Melisa to go out dancing with me. They were very organized with their time and always managed to squeeze in some fun between studying.
Another memory I have of our dorm days were the Yukka Flux nights. Yukka Flux consisted of bottles and bottles of hard alcohol and various cut up fruit like grapes, apples and oranges. We mixed all the ingredients in a large garbage can and let the fruit soak for most of the day.
There was a guy who lived on our floor named Elu, who was from Singapore. Like Jeff, Elu was an excellent student. I basically saw Elu in the kitchen and the rest of the time, he was at the library or studying in his room. I thought it would be a good idea to introduce him to Yukka Flux and give him a good Canadian university experience. Jeff and I laughed when we recalled how much Elu loved eating the fruit and how sick he felt the next day.
When I got off the phone with Jeff, I felt quite emotional. I had to sit with my feelings and thoughts to figure out what was going on with me. I finally came to the conclusion that I felt happy - genuinely happy. Since brain injury, there have been very few times that I have felt true happiness or laughed until my belly hurt. This has sadly become a rare experience for me.
Since my injury, my short-term memory has been terrible and this will most likely be the case for the rest of my life. To be able to retrieve clear memories from over 35 years ago was a huge gift. And the fact Jeff remembered me after all these years and took the time and effort to find me is even a bigger gift. This has lifted my spirits and will easily carry me for the rest of the year.
You are good medicine, Jeff.
