Finding a decent pair of flip flops can be a real challenge. I have a pair already, but they are mainly the beach type. A little ratty, match the sand for colour and float really well when they fall off.
However, I wanted a slightly more upscale pair that I could wear with jeans and the like. Yeah upscale flip flops is kinda like saying "I met a classy, highly-educated redneck the other day."
Getting a comfortable flip flop can be a real problem and after trying on numerous types and sizes it suddenly dawned on me what a horrible experience shopping for underwear thongs must be like.
Some flip flops were the right size but the straps were too tight, or like most of them, the part that goes between the big toe and the foretoe (forefinger) would rub and irritate the toes sometimes feeling like someone had shoved a twig between them.
Having a twig on a daily basis between my toes didn't sit right with me, neither did the idea of having a twig between my big butt cheek and my fore butt cheek, that's why I never wear a thong.
I tried just about everywhere in town and finally came upon a pair that seemed to be just right, so I bought them.
First thing I did when I got home was to get a needle and thread and throw a stitch into the part that goes between the toes to tighten it up so there would be no rubbing.
They are a little darker than the others, a little more classy if that is possible, but they worked and also got my wife's approval.
Unfortunately looks can be deceiving.
Although they are comfortable - and not twig like at all - there was one problem.
My beach flip flops are made of a stiffer material than the new ones and are easier to walk fast in.
Even though my new flip flops seem to work well it was only when I took my son to his soccer game that I noticed the flaw with the new ones, and it was a rude awakening too.
My son had taken off to his game and I was filling a water bottle for him. I sauntered along the concrete path by the concession stand and onto the grass when all of a sudden the tip of my flip flop caught in the grass and turned under making me stumble forward like someone who had a little too much to drink. I looked around to see if anyone was watching before making another move. "Just an unusually long bit of grass there," I thought.
Next step the same thing happened. It turns out the flip flops are more flexible or flimsy than my other ones and every time they would hit some grass the toe part would bend under, my toes would surge into the grass and I would stumble forward.
The only thing I could do to avoid looking like someone who had too much to drink was to walk like John Cleese in the Ministry of Silly Walks skit.
Turns out it was six of one and a half dozen of the other, people were going to stare at me regardless.
I had to make sure every step was precise. Lift my knee high, pull the toes up to avoid getting the front of the flip flop caught in the grass and place the back of the flip flop on the ground heel first. I had to remind myself of the new walking process for the first 35 or 40 steps until I got used to it. If people weren't watching me when I stumbled they were surely watching me now. After the game was over I had to again learn to walk in a precise and silly manner, like a crane wading through shallow water stalking its next prey.
It was a long, slow, calculated walk back to the car after the game and I have not worn the flip flops anywhere near grass since.
I'm sure my son is quite happy for that too.
