If I'm ever granted one wish, I'll ask to experience what life is like with the mindset of a leftist. That seems an odd request, but the fact is the more I see tokenism and political correctness abound, the more I wonder if I will ever be able to understand the premises and assumptions in the minds of those who praise such actions. Honestly, there are days where I feel like an alien on a foreign planet, incapable of comprehending the culture around me.
But hopefully, by some dark magic, I could begin to understand why the renaming of parks and the repainting of crosswalks are better uses of time, money, and political capital than sheltering the homeless, comforting the afflicted, and feeding the hungry. As it currently stands, I have deep, unsettling doubts about recent political decisions, as I believe them to be the result of egoism, ignorance, or even resignation. But then again, maybe I just need a magical holiday.
To be clear, I'm almost certain my life would be less stressful if I was supernaturally assisted in letting go of my biases. I wouldn't grimace in pain as often - especially when passing stands of anti-resource development literature printed on oil based material, or declarations of rights and political postures that are irreconcilable with a western, democratic civilization.
With just the smallest of doses from a leftist potion, the world would seem brighter. My days would begin and end cheerfully "because it's 2015" or 16 or whatever year we've declared to be the end of oppression, even as Canadian-made armoured vehicles are delivered to a misogynistic, homophobic regime halfway round the world.
Perhaps I'd even begin to love this new way of seeing the world. I could begin self-administering my new-found beliefs and it could come in whatever flavour I preferred. If I need to feel smug, I could just soak up the John Oliver and Bill Maher, or if I need a rush, I could go in for righteous anger at the shrine of Our Lady Naomi Klein. My church would be marches, my cause self-evident, my enemies easily profiled by their skin colour or their lack of belief in the cause.
In fact, at this point, I'd no longer be an alien - I'd be one with the mob. And that's the great thing about any mob - you always feel that you belong! So long as you don't cross the mob, of course. But why would I ever do that? It feels so much better to be in sync with the heartbeat of a group of excited people than to be asking critical questions of one's peers.
And yet, the greatest thing about converting to leftism is that I no longer need to wait for salvation. In fact, salvation will come as soon as I can make it appear; the harder I work, the more I sacrifice, the closer it will come. I might even achieve it in my lifetime, assuming that I'm able to bring all of mankind and his world into submission of tolerance, diversity, inclusion, sustainability and the other innumerable commandments. And so I will have beat God at his own game.
It is often forgotten that the greatest sin in the Old Testament was idolatry, and those with eyes to see can easily grasp why. Like our own time, when manmade gods become what's worshiped, gestures replace sincerity and want of power replaces humility.
All this to say that there is something fundamentally wrong with our world when it means more to paint rainbows on crosswalks than to spend money teaching bullied, questioning teens self-defence or to rename a park while many of those descended of said name are still lacking the proper resources to combat addiction and poverty just half a kilometre away.
In fact, that might be the definition of empty promises: bringing false hope to those afflicted while allowing the self-important to feel good. But, in the off chance I'm wrong, do let me know where I can get the stuff to develop the mindset of a leftist. I could really use a break.
