I've taken a hiatus from my column for a few weeks, and as much as I hate to admit this, it wasn't planned, or requested. There wasn't any good reason other than I had shut down.
I'd been subconsciously still mourning the loss of the Tour de Jasper goal I so badly wanted to complete this summer. I haven't gained weight, but I also haven't lost anything either. I'd gone back to feeding my emotions with food, but I still managed to make the gym a regular part of my schedule. The gym remains a part of my life because I have really been enjoying the strength and energy I get from it, and if I was going to consume more calories than I should, the least I could do would be to balance it out with exercise.
After several weeks of moping about, just this past Tuesday I was sitting at my desk hard at work (that goes without saying....) and I receive a text message from my friend and co-worker Derek Springall (master and commander of the classifieds department) who was at the front counter helping two customers. The text message read "your boxing coach is here, he is asking about you. Come say hi.", to which I replied in very grammatically correct terms "Noooo, too shy".
I was genuinely surprised my former boxing coach knew who I was at all. I hadn't seen him in several years. Allan Bayne is well respected in the boxing community as a boxer, coach and referee. He coached a boxing course through the YMCA for a short period of time a few years ago, in which I participated. This wasn't a cardio boxing workout (although we did work up quite a sweat), it was true blue boxing techniques. I started out slow like everyone who joined but quickly fell in love with how strong and powerful it made me feel. I repeated this course a few times because I enjoyed Allan's coaching so much, and I felt I was really learning and progressing. When Allan had to move on, I stopped boxing... It just wasn't the same. I attempted the Inner City boxing club at his suggestion, but the schedule just didn't mesh with my full time job and single motherhood.
Despite my childish attempt at avoiding awkward conversation with someone I didn't really know that well, I got up the nerve to go say hi. He instantly recognized me, and shook my hand, kindly recounting how dedicated i was, how well I learned and how hard I pushed in his class. I chatted with him for a few minutes, excused myself to get back to the work at my desk and went back to the daily grind. It hit me after that conversation that if someone like Allan believed in me, remembered me, and knew how hard I can push, why was I still moping around without any purpose?
Clearly I was capable of more. It was time to dust myself off, lick my wounds and come crawling back to my editor for a chance to restart my column. It was time to get back to the gym with purpose, time to start writing again, and time to see what I am really capable of.
Thank you Allan Bayne for your coaching, for remembering me, and for reminding me that I am capable of more. And thank you Neil Godbout for your continued faith in me, and allowing me this space to reach out to the many people who I know go through many of the same struggles.
