Everywhere one goes, it seems, everyone is pushing that book with the bright orange cover.
Have you read it?
You should read it!
Why haven't you read it?
You should read it!
It's so true!
It's so insightful!
It would really help you!
You should read it!
If this hasn't happened to you yet, it's eithier because your friends and family already know you don't like reading as something to do in your spare time or they've decided you already don't give a f*ck about much of anything.
Mark Manson's book, The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach To Living A Good Life, is a runaway bestseller of common-sense advice.
The chapter titles - Don't Try, You Are Not Special, You Are Wrong About Everything - are meant to shock the reader out of self-absorption and into accepting Manson's mantra:
Prioritize
Care about the big stuff and don't get so bothered by the little things
Love your spouse and don't get so worked up when they don't empty the dishwasher
Love your kids and don't be so hard on them about the Cs on their report card
Stop trying to be happy and work on the important things that are hard to do that make you happy
Stop trying to be better than others and getting everyone to like you
Pain and suffering and death are part of life so get over it
That's the Coles notes summary of Manson's quick, breezy book.
There is wisdom in Manson's book but it's of limited value because it's neither subtle nor artistic.
In both cases, it boils down to "I was in a bad place and I'm now in a good place so do what I did to think and act like I do now and you'll be in a good place, too, just like me."
To be fair, Manson does offer some good reminders from the Everything I Know I Learned In Kindergarten school of philosophy about being a good and fair person, trying hard, learning from our mistakes and not being a crybaby when we don't get what we want.
And he stresses that his book is really about the obvious art of giving a f*ck, which is simply a crass, attention-getting way (like the book title) of manipulating the reader into thinking about what and who they already care for, what and who they should care about more and what and who they should care about less.
Those acts of caring require the freedom to do so, which some people like Manson (who talks about his mostly good upbringing, his mostly good education and the ups and downs of being able to spend much of his 20s travelling the world) have lots of, while brushing over the fact that many people have far less choice.
For those people, living is good. Finding food and clean water today is good. A roof over their head is good.
Not getting shot or raped is good.
Access to books and education for their children is good.
Seeing a doctor is good.
Not everyone is as blessed as Manson with the freedom to linger each day in the supermarket of cares.
Nassim Nicholas Taleb, an author who doesn't give a fat fiddler's fart what people think of him and writes accordingly, offers a better suggestion than Manson.
Instead of following the Golden Rule from the Book of Matthew ("do unto others as you would have them do unto you"), Taleb encourages the Silver Rule, which is don't treat others the way you wouldn't want to be treated and don't urge people to take risks and/or expose themselves to harm if you're unwilling to do the same.
The Golden Rule causes nothing but grief and conflict on both sides of the equation, Taleb argues, because it leads well-meaning do-gooders to intervene in situations that are none of their business and people who want help are forced to tolerate the help of well-meaning do-gooders who only want to help in the way they think is best.
By contrast, the Silver Rule offers a positive outcome through inaction - "I'll leave you alone and not presume I know what's best for you if you do the same for me. And if either of us needs help, we'll ask for it (and fully accept it if the answer is no)."
That's a far more subtle and artistic way of giving a f*ck, not giving a f*ck and knowing the difference.
-- Editor-in-chief Neil Godbout
