Margaret and I got married 20 years ago and when she said "I do, until death do us part," I am not sure she really knew how long that might seem for her.
Those 20 years have been the best 20 years of my life, but I know, being married to a small business owner at times has often been tough for Margaret.
As business owners we are often so focused on our businesses that we forget that life goes on around us. We are so intent on making sure that our staff, our partners, our customers and our bankers are OK that we neglect those who are most important to us - our families. This can make for tough times for people like you who own a business.
Brian Robertson of the University of California published a study in 1999 that found that workaholics have a divorce rate of 55 per cent compared to only 16 per cent of those with better work/life balance. That is not to say that only small business owners or all small business owners are workaholics, but some are.
In order to have healthier relationships, we need to put more focus on those relationships which are important to us.
But, how do we do that if we own businesses that we think demand our energy and commitment? The key to having a great business/life balance is setting priorities and boundaries.
Did you know that some of the most effective and successful business owners in the world do exactly that?
They check emails only three times a day.
They have a routine each morning when they get up.
They block time each day to spend with their family and loved ones.
They leave work at work and focus on living in the present at other times.
They have boundaries around how much their business can interfere into their personal life.
I learned early enough that my friends and family didn't want me to be talking about my work when I was with them. Things went a lot better for me in my relationships when I expressed interest in what others were doing and what was important for them. This does not negate the fact that as business owners we have lots of important things that we need to focus on.
It does, however, mean that when we are working in our business that we get down to doing what we need to, not wasting time when we are at work and not bringing work home when it is not critical to our survival.
When we get married we know that we have made a commitment for life.
However, when we start or buy a business, often times we don't know how long that will be for. I never even had a thought in 1988 when I started my business with my partner that almost 30 years later I would be still running it. Had I done so perhaps I might have experienced the jitters that I did on my wedding day.
The fact is that time has a way of slipping through our fingers and if we don't set priorities on what is important to us we run the risk as business owners of losing those things we cherish most.
Great time management, delegation, planning, and goal-setting are skills that we need to ensure that we have balance in our lives. When we realize that businesses and money can come and go but relationships and families last a lifetime, perhaps, we will spend more time building those relationships and developing the skills that make it so we can walk away from profitable businesses at the end of the day and focus on what is truly important.
Thanks Margaret for teaching me this.
Dave Fuller is a husband and father who can be reached as a business coach during business hours at [email protected] or 250-617-7467
