This year my twin 13 year-old daughters enjoyed a Grade 7 graduation gift from the Parent Advisory Council - an afternoon of paintballing at an established facility just outside of town. I was drafted as a parent-helper for the event.
Conscription was not mandatory, but turned out to be an
insightful, if painful lesson.
My two daughters had mixed opinions about my participation, Twin A was grateful for my presence and hoping I would stay close to her, shielding her from flying projectiles.
Twin B was eager to keep me at a distance, encouraging me to stay outside the play area with the
other nervous parents.
My compromise solution was to join the referee in the observation tower and just generally supervise, fully clad in protective armor and close to the action, but not
interfering.
It had been a fairly stressful day at work, but from the observation tower my focus was necessarily redirected to the potentially injurious war game at hand, which I suppose is exactly the point of paintball.
The kids were a tentative bunch at first; very defensive positions were taken and not many warriors ventured out in to the fray during the first few games.
I fidgeted in the observation tower, imagining myself leading grateful squadrons of delighted children to glory in battle. Five rounds later, increasingly keen to show these kids how to crank the action up a notch or two, I finally convinced Twin B that I should be allowed to join in.
Both twins were spotless heading in to the next battle, not having been tagged yet by the high-speed balls of pain.
Following instructions from one of the staff, I led a small but keen battalion on a corner-to-corner perimeter sprint, perhaps 75 metres in total, hoping to gain a strong positional advantage over the
other team.
Sprint is such a strong word. The dash was invigorating, but my fifty year-old legs were already spent like bus fare on candy.
When I tried to scurry to the next vantage point my lower limbs sent an urgent message to my brain in vintage Scotty to Captain Kirk: "We can't give her any more power Captain! The main thrusters are down!"
Seeing the distinct wisdom of the commando crawl, I found comfort in dirt and grass and took aim at something resembling a small
human in the distance.
About this time, I felt a sharp pain on the lower part of my right bum cheek.
I turned around to see a four-foot nothing, twelve year-old boy warrior gloating over me like Rambo over a dead chicken.
Ninety minutes or so later Twin A was still spotless, while Twin B proudly wore her one paintball hit like an Olympic medal.
As for the war hero, I put the limp in Olympics.
I had the dual misfortunes of generalized aches and pains, and enough paint on my body to replenish an art supply store. If these nasty white splotches were the medals my daughter claimed them to be, I was the Michael Phelps of paintball.
The full extent of the damage was revealed later that night when I hobbled home and stripped down to shower, counting enough loonie-sized bruises to buy a stale meal at a hospital cafeteria.
It would be easy at this point to sketch an analogy blaming the ivory tower thinking of higher-ups, governments, central bankers and portfolio managers who don't know the realities of life in the ground war of every day family finances.
Like taking pot shots at the referee's tower on the paintball field, the target is easy, but the assault will not push our financial game forward as quickly as something a little more introspective.
Rather that we be reminded to take shelter in the wisdom of managing our personal financial skirmishes smartly. The wobbly markets will serpentine on for some time yet.
There will be errors in governance, and outright crooks caught red-handed.
Yet through all of this, some key fundamentals will remain more or less within our control:
1) avoid debt 2) spend less than we earn 3) find contentment in what we have; 4) save and invest the surplus prudently 5) if we have an investment portfolio, know our asset mix and find the right
balance between safety and
shelter.
Consistently apply these basics, and the accumulation of wealth will come over time, regardless of the financial strife around us.
Mark Ryan is an advisor with RBC Wealth Management, Dominion Securities (member CIPF) and can be reached at [email protected].
