An open letter to Kinder Morgan's corporate leadership:
Greetings. I want to begin by congratulating your intelligent maneuvering during this trying time as you sought to expand the existing infrastructure of the Trans Mountain pipeline.
It might seem paltry to commend such a basic technique - your deadline ultimatum - but make no mistake, in the Pyjama Boy politics of Canada, such a move was nothing short of bloody brilliant.
To be clear, I am no Benedict Arnold.
I love my country, and I do believe that when its resources are extracted, guarantees and levies must be paid.
But what I am not is either one of the unwashed zealots standing in front of your industriousness, nor an old money elitist who can afford to go an entire lifetime without making their own income. It is to these two groups, both subsidized to obstruct and dither, that I gladly welcomed your ever mounting political pressure.
I applaud you for not only selling out but I encourage you to use whatever corporate chicanery you can to turn the screws at the NAFTA table, especially through your friends' industries.
In plain talk, I am asking you to make your grudge felt by the entire northern half of our shared continent.
I do not look forward to the suffering this might cause my fellow citizens who actually contribute to the treasury through their jobs, and the inheritance of our dominion by their families.
But the rain falls on the good and the bad, and sometimes it must be turned into large hailstones so that even the most unwoke become aware of their naked hubris.
Canada has needed a political shake-up for decades - I'm hoping you and corporate America can deliver it.
Put simply, we are what your country would look like had it given unlimited power to the McGovern-Carter-Obama camp for decades; a land of immense natural and human resources that's banned their use or made it more profitable to throttle than grow.
The worst of Chicago, Detroit, or California has nothing on Canada's insane mix of bureaucracy, dependency, political cowardice, unproductivity, sanctimoniousness, NIMBYism and mainstream media complicity.
You must understand that the forces that were arrayed against you were grounded existentially in anti-capitalism and anti-Americanism, despite the evidence that shows both have protected and made us rich.
So long as Canada can bite the hand that feeds it - a technique we've been perfecting since you left Mother Britain - there is no reasoning with either the leadership or vulgar jacobins.
As such, your only path is one of brute deterrence through economic warfare.
Crude as it is, I am essentially asking for an overwhelming display of financial firepower, by boycott, divestment and sanction, either clear or subversive, that slowly but surely drains what little real money is still made in this country in order that the treasury can no longer pay for entities who stymie the prosperity of the Dominion of Canada. Truthfully, short of outright invasion, this might be the only way to save us from our worst members before it's too late.
The one thing standing in the way of the success of such a campaign are your own consciences regarding how far you're willing to go.
All of the political and private resources of Canada would be easily matched by a dozen mid-sized American companies' legal teams at the various courts.
And thanks to our impractical attitudes, it's highly likely that the country could not sustain legal and financial attacks on all fronts at once - Canada's economy is a house of cards.
None of this would be needed if we recalled that decisions have consequences. Please, do not hesitate to use any means necessary to remind us.
