In life there are many things that we cannot control.
Any attempt to do so leads to frustration. We therefore spend our lives stressed and on edge.
There has to be a better way!
Stephen and Sean Covey, in their 7 Habits books, discuss how our lives are made up essentially of three circles.
On the outside is the circle of no control, inside that is the circle of influence and at the core is the circle of control.
There are things we cannot control, such as the weather.
What we do control is how we respond. If it is raining, we carry an umbrella. If it is cold we wear a jacket.
Any attempt to control the weather obviously leads to frustration.
There are other aspects of life that we can influence, though we cannot control them.
We can influence the decisions of others, but people are free to choose what they like, and that is as it should be.
What we do control is ourselves. We control how we respond to external stimuli.
How we respond depends, however, on how we think. If we look upon misfortune with the attitude that "the world is out to get me," we will see ourselves as victims and never move forward.
If we look upon misfortunes as challenges to be overcome, then overcome them we will.
It will take persistent effort, but we will eventually arrive at our destinations.
Earl Nightingale tells us that if we want to change our world we need to change our attitudes. If we want the best, we must expect the best and also be our very best.
If we have the attitude at work that, "I will never get that promotion, so I'm not even going to try," we are very unlikely to get a promotion.
If we have the attitude that "I deserve that promotion and I am going to work as if I am advancing in my career," either we will get promoted, or we will find another employer who sees our giftedness and rewards it. We do not control our employers, but we do influence our situations.
The other attitude that Nightingale stresses is gratitude.
Everyone wants to be appreciated for what they do, and when we know that others are grateful, we tend to give more and better service. We are also much happier when we are grateful.
These principles apply to every aspect of life.
There is a beautiful prayer that says, "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
We control our thoughts and our attitudes, we control what we say and what we do, and those are the things we can change. These then influence the world around us in a positive or negative way, but they do not control it.
When we look at life this way, we see that even though things may not happen as we expect them to or when we expect them to, we still become what we think about.
