'Twas twelve days before Christmas and all through the house, the children were stirring because they don't sleep ever. Seriously.
The stockings were hung by the fireplace at last, in the hopes that Fortis won't run out of gas.
The children were nestled all snug in our bed, while visions of cartoons danced in their heads.
Mom wears no kerchief and Dad wears no cap, but we'd trade our left arms for a long winter's nap.
When all of a sudden, what is it we hear? It sounds like the neighbour is revving in gear.
Away to the door, I ran in a flash, stepped on some Lego, and threw out my back. I flung open the door to see what was the matter, then slipped on the remnants of a child's Jello splatter.
I opened my eyes, and what should appear but the FedEx lady and she's bringing good cheer.
With boxes, and boxes, and boxes of stuff at the door, it all topples over - but wait - she brings more!
The packages piled that need a good wrap, we both ask the question, "Did you buy this crap?"
As the season of Christmas begins to take shape, I swear on my life someone's hiding the tape.
Bows, ribbon, and paper-cut strife, "You couldn't wrap a present to save your life!"
Bandaged and bloodied, the kids out of sight, we hear from the hall, they yell, "scissor fight!"
So, "No Christmas!" we say, in our parenting daily, we need a large glass of rum and some Bailey's. They pay us no mind as their battle ensues, "I'm going to call Santa, and it will be bad news!" "You can call Santa?" they say with surprise. We look at each other, a glint in our eyes. "Of course we can call, I've got the number right here! You had better smarten up, or there will be no cheer!" With reluctance and awe, they stop being bad, another small victory for this Mom and this Dad.
On Liam, on Emily, on Megan, and on Will, Christmas is close and it brings such a thrill.
On Grandma, on Grandpa, on Uncle and Aunt, we hope you've enjoyed our seasonal rant.
The crafts have all failed and the sewing's gone wrong - the bears have it right, "god, this season is long!"
As dinner approaches, we sing and we fight, Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night. Hopefully - if we make it.
