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The kid who stands like a man

One of the most remarkable, rare phenomena is a person able to demonstrate courage in their convictions. It's more astonishing still to witness such courage, such conviction in a 12-year-old.

One of the most remarkable, rare phenomena is a person able to demonstrate courage in their convictions.

It's more astonishing still to witness such courage, such conviction in a 12-year-old.

Yet exhibiting strength of that nature is the day-to-day choice of Milan Halikowski. He was born female but ever since the Prince George boy started speaking he's identified himself as male. As Halikowski told Citizen reporter Charelle Evelyn, he was "born in the wrong body and your inner self is trying to match your outer self."

In an age when expediency and convenience are king, the easy choice, the smart choice, the normal choice, everything but the right choice would have been for Halikowski to flat out lie. He could have pretended, suppressed, ignored his inner self and lived a comfortable, smooth life as a girl. He could have had quick acceptance, a hassle-free existence and life without a giant kick-me sign on his back for the ignorant of all ages to take aim at.

Better to leave grown-up questions of gender and identity for when you're a grown-up. After all, who's going to believe a girl that says they're a boy?

But Halikowski had something the bullies, the fearful, the ignorant and most other people didn't have: courage and convictions. He is a male and that is how he is going to live his life. As Frost is so often quoted: "Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-/I took the one less traveled by,/And that has made all the difference."

Not even Frost could have imagined the road Milan Halikowski would have to tread.

School, needless to say, has been a challenge - harassment, bullying, ridicule, violence. While one would expect that from students, perhaps, most surprising has been the attacks Halikowski has endured from teachers - slurs, punishment for using the "wrong" washroom, being targeted for playing sports.

The bulk of educators in this province are paragons of their profession. But for those supposed beacons for future generations who couldn't see past the end of their chalk when it came to Halikowski: you deserve whatever Christy Clark does to you.

Halikowski's response was to be open about being transgendered and come out to his classmates in an attempt to help them understand. His mother, Lynnell, thought it was risky but "[Milan said], 'What else can they do to me they haven't already done?"

He may be only a boy in years but he's got balls the size of tank shells.

Unfortunately, the violence and bullying were grave to the point where Halikowski's safety became an issue and his mother had to pull him from school. School District 57 is developing a plan for him but Lynnell fears it is "lacking." In the meantime, he's trying to attend Gender Odyssey Family, a conference in the U.S. for families "raising a child who is gender non-conforming or transgender."

It'll be a chance for Halikowski and his mother to relax, talk to other families experiencing the same challenges and "know someone's not going to be calling you faggot, calling you he-she or it."

His family is conducting an Indiegogo campaign, which wraps up today. For more information, or to donate, visitpgc.cc/1vXsxTZ or search for Milan's Gender Odyssey on Indiegogo.com or Facebook.

Here's hoping he makes it. But, even if he doesn't, he can take heart, even at his age, he fulfils some of Kipling's questions in If:

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too;[...]

Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,

Or being hated, don't give way to hating.

Milan Halikowski would probably much rather be just a boy. But if it's worth anything, he does get this from Kipling:

"Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,

And-which is more-you'll be a Man, my son!"