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Putting gratitude into practice

Back when I was in seventh grade, my mother and I had a discussion about clothes and the amount I owned compared to what my mom had.
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Back when I was in seventh grade, my mother and I had a discussion about clothes and the amount I owned compared to what my mom had.

Because I was twelve, the discussion was likely filled with a lot of impatient eye-rolling and general, all-around snottiness. I do not remember the finer details of this discussion (probably it was more of a fight, not a discussion), however I remember my mom telling me that I owned more bras than she had owned in her whole life.

I replied that she should buy herself some then (see: snotty) because she isn't getting a medal for being a martyr.

This scenario popped into my head for some reason when my own children were acting entitled and demanding to watch the television as if they owned it.It occurred to me, twenty-three years later, that I had completely missed the point of that long-ago conversation/fight with my mom.

The lesson that I took from that discussion was that mothers sacrifice buying clothes for themselves in favour of buying clothes for their kids but they martyr themselves to do it.The actual lesson my mom was trying to teach me was about gratitude. I feel stupid that it took me twenty-three years to get the point.

Gratitude is an odd emotion and although it is easy to describe (i.e. the act or practice of being thankful, usually towards another person) it is hard to put it in to practice. What I mean by that is it is easy to say "thank you," to another person for buying you a coffee but it is harder to demonstrate your extreme gratitude, in a meaningful way, when someone in your family offers to take the kids for a sleepover.

Any effusions of thanks come across as insincere when you are racing with your husband to leave the grandparents' house before they change their mind about the sleepover. It is harder still to express gratitude for your parents for raising you and your brother kindly and with lots of laughs without sounding like you want to borrow money (I don't, really).

I am trying to develop a set a sincerity guidelines for those struggling with expressing their gratitude in a meaningful way.

In the style of tween magazines, these guidelines will be articulated by a series of "Do's and Don't's" statements.

Do: look people in the eyes when you are saying thank you. Don't: hold eye contact for too long as it can become uncomfortable. Do: say thank you when people do something nice for you or buy something for you. Don't: wrinkle your nose up when someone gives you something that is ugly or strange-looking.Just say thank you and discreetly dispose of said item in a moment of privacy. Do: give the person a hug if the situation warrants it and if you are close. Don't: hold a hug for too long (see: eye contact, above). Do: smile. Don't: stop smiling or being kind to one another. It helps us get through the day.

Thank you for everything.