It is no secret that there is tremendous pain in the world. What we are not often aware of is the source of this pain. Not knowing where it is from, we give into fear, and actually make the problem worse.
Canadian physician Gabor Mate has devoted his career to understanding why people do terrible things to themselves and to other people. He spent 12 years working with those who were severely addicted to drugs on the lower east side of Vancouver, and has written and spoken extensively on this topic.
By looking on these people with empathy, Mate came to the realization that they are really no different than anyone else. The reason why they allow addictions to take control of their lives is because the drugs provide a temporary escape from pain. These are people who have experienced horrendous trauma, even inter-generational trauma. Mate then does not ask "why the addiction?" Instead, he asks "why the pain."
With this empathic perspective, he is able to look at his own life and his own addictions. Why did he become a workaholic and a compulsive shopper? He was trying to cover the pain and trauma of his own childhood. As a Jewish baby born in Hungary during the Second World War, he experienced the trauma of losing family members, and the fear and deprivation of life in the Budapest Ghetto. Even though he may not remember, the trauma impacted him deeply. Working and shopping somehow temporarily fulfilled his needs for being wanted and loved, and it was not until fairly late in life that he realized this.
Mate also notes how our society tends to judge people with drug addictions harshly, yet actually rewards other dysfunctional behaviours. In a Ted Talk he speaks of the power of addiction and the addiction of power. In a recent interview with British comedian Russell Brand, he expanded on this idea, noting how our traumatized world tends to choose traumatized people as leaders.
Through his empathic world view, Mate notes the impact of years of colonization, war and genocide. Many of us are living with trauma and don't even know it. This results in dysfunctional behaviours which cause these wounds to perpetuate into the next generation, and so the cycle continues.
There is a way out, however. The remedy is the same as that spoken by great leaders like Gandhi and the Dalai Lama. We can heal ourselves and in doing so we can heal our world. Mate notes that this journey is different for everyone, but stresses the importance of being open to practices outside the scope of modern medicine.
In my own work as a high school teacher, I can see the value of this. I've invested a great deal of time and energy into my own personal and spiritual wellbeing, learning to meditate and be aware of trauma in my own life. Healing my pain has made me a more empathic teacher. I am thus better able to see the good in my students, treat them with kindness, and hopefully draw out their potential to do good in our world. I am also tremendously grateful for the access to supports for these children which our school system provides.
We need only turn on the television news to see the deep impact of pain on our hurting world. Our efforts to stop crime violence through aggression and punishment has never worked, and it will only serve to deepen the wounds.
Compassion works. Through thousands of years of human history nothing has served us better. We are all connected, and as each of us finds peace, we bring healing and hope to our broken the world.
Gerry Chidiac is a champion for social enlightenment, inspiring others to find their greatness in making the world a better place. For more of his writings, go to www.gerrychidiac.com.
