Due to ongoing issues with my son's teeth, including cavities, losing a crown (yes, he has a crown at the ripe old age of seven), an abscess and other assorted issues including a nasty cough that has been ongoing for two months, my son and I ended up at the medical clinic on a rainy Tuesday evening.
After stopping by and seeing the lineup before dinner, I elected to go home, eat dinner and come back to the clinic to wait until we could get in to see the doctor for some antibiotics. So, along with half of Prince George, we were in the waiting room that had every seat filled and people lined up along the walls - except there was one seat that was open - sort of.
Beside the seat in question, sat the elusive, super-cool, hipster daddy in the wild with baby in tow. If you are not familiar with the super-cool, hipster dad, you will be able to identify him by his markings: brown beard, wild-brimmed hat that is not quite a cowboy hat or another shape of hat that you would recognize, fitted pea coat with tight jeans and some sort of expensive, impractical-for-the-weather shoe.
Also, he's trim because heavy people aren't hipsters - I do not know why this is.
On this sighting in the wilds of the medical clinic, the super-cool, hipster dad had an expensive-looking yellow, leather diaper bag. It was very beautiful and clearly it had had a long day at work, the bag - not the dad - because in a waiting room filled with people and, at least six of them without a seat, this yellow, leather diaper bag (YLDB) had its own seat.
I sympathize with you, YLDB, I do.
It's hard being out there, working a full-time job, doing gigs on the side, looking after sick kids, writing your thesis. It's exhausting.
It is hard being in a waiting room filled with sick people when you are a moderate hypochondriac and you have a low-level anxiety about catching a disease from the 1800s that is somehow coming back because people don't vaccinate.
It is nice, YLDB, sitting down after these long days and putting your little feet up. Don't stand up on my account, YLDB. I'm fine here separated from my son because there are only two loose seats that are not together.
Oh look, YLDB! Aren't people wonderfully kind? The elderly couple beside me have practically fallen over themselves to shuffle their seats so I can sit beside my son. They seem amused listening to my son grill me about every single video game I have ever played. In amongst my quiet desperation that I can remember any detail about video games that I played when I young and an urgent wish that my son will lose interest in this conversation, there you sit, comfy on your chair, YLDB. Oh! You are up next while I get to sit here for another hour while my son and I try to remember all of the Nintendo character names and invent stories to pass the time. Every other person is on their phone except for me, the elderly couple and you, YLDB, because you are not a person, you are a bag.
My son has lost his electronics until May, the elderly couple have better things to do, my phone is almost dead and I need to conserve the batteries to send half hysterical text updates to my husband who is at home with our daughter.
I am glad when you finally are picked up by your ignorant, hipster dad and carried out of the waiting room - the two seats that you both occupied (one hipster, one bag) are quickly filled by a young girl who doesn't look well and her dad who does not use an empty chair to prop up a ridiculous bag.
If you find yourself in a crowded waiting room and you really need to put down your expensive bag, put it on the floor or on the back of your chair.
If you are worried about it being wrecked then why in the name of all things holy did you buy a $200 bag to carry the diapers that your baby will poop in?
I bet you have cloth diapers too so you are actually carrying poo around with you everywhere you go until you can go home and rinse out your diapers in some organic, essential oil laden cleaner that doesn't work.
Don't be YLDB.
Give up your chair to people, not bags.
