When I was 21, my younger brother Rob (who apparently thought he was a marriage counsellor) told me that there was no perfect wife. That I should find someone “good enough” and I could make it work if I put in enough effort. So being a late bloomer, I started dating at the ripe age of 23 and found a woman who settled for good enough when I was 31. Now 24 years of marriage later, it turns out that Margaret was perfect for me!
In leadership, more than any other aspect of life, there seems to be pressure to “be perfect." We think we need to show the perfect image of success with a fancy house, nice cars, expensive and a perfect family. We believe we have to keep our emotions in check and can’t explode in our place of work when something goes wrong because “leaders never do that." Since we think that people look up to us for direction, we wrongly assume that they are looking at us all the time. The pressure we put on ourselves to always get it right and be perfect can be enormous.
Right now, more than any time in the past couple of decades, trying to get it perfect is a big mistake. The changes in the economy, the increased safety demands of government, employees and customers, fluctuating revenues, lack of profitability, and moving targets has amplified the pressure that leaders are facing. Just when we think we can relax a wave of something else hits us. We need to focus on good enough.
What does it mean to be good enough? Good enough doesn’t mean that we are sloppy, careless, or inconsiderate. Good enough means that we accept that we are gong to make mistakes, that we might not get rich quick, that we might not get every detail right but we did our best given the time and resources we have at hand at the time. Good enough means doing our best and being satisfied with that effort.
Leadership and business ownership are not brain surgery, rocket science, or structural engineering where good enough might not cut it. However, when we are dealing with people and products, wording and websites, catering or cleaning, perfect is something that never happens. We have to accept the fact that it’s okay to be good enough and not perfect, and get on with things. We need to be vulnerable with those around us and ask for help despite the risk of losing our self-imposed image of the great savior of our organization.
In my job as a business coach, I sometimes deal with people who have anxiety about getting it perfect. They won’t make a phone call to a prospective client, or accept an advertisement, an employee or a new system until they get it exactly right. I get it, of course. They want to make sure that they don’t make a mistake and look like a fool. However, the current environment demands we make decisions and move forward and risk looking like a fool once and a while.
Dale Carnegie once said “Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.”
When we focus on being perfect or trying to get it perfect, we become saddled with inaction because we know we aren’t perfect and we can’t make things perfect. Taking those first small steps towards our goals, even if they aren’t perfect, permit us to overcome the paralysis of indecision.
No one knows what the next few months or years hold or even if we are going to make the right decision about the challenges or opportunities that are facing us in our roles. However, one thing for certain is that time will continue to keep ticking until it doesn’t, and if we want to reduce our stress levels we need to allow ourselves to move away from the idea that we have to be perfect and settle on the fact that when we give our best effort that are good enough.
- Dave Fuller, MBA is an award-winning business coach and a good enough author, father, and husband. It’s perfectly OK to email your comments to dave@pivotleader.com
