I enjoy a bit of exercise from time to time and I like to listen to music while doing so. You may have even read my song of the day on occasion on page 2 of this paper with suggestions for music to work out to.
My tunes have to be up-tempo and sometimes a little heavier a la Thunderstruck by ACDC or My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark by Fall Out Boy. Others like Sandstorm by Darude or the Rolling Stones Doom and Gloom - Benny Benassi Remix also keep the workout pace high.
However, recently a Citizen newsroom staffer decided that a CD called Chicago 17 by the '80s band Chicago would make for good workout music and was suggesting this to another staff member.
If any of you are old enough to remember Chicago, you are all in unison shouting at this moment something to the effect of "What the heck? Chicago? Workout music? Are you mad?"
And you would be absolutely correct.
Chicago's style of music was sappy and tear rendering to say the least - although not as sappy as some - and anyone who is working out to Chicago is either getting the wrong type of workout or wakes up after an hour feeling quite refreshed.
With songs like Along Comes A Woman, Hard Habit To Break, Wishing You Were Here, You're The Inspiration and the ever popular If You Leave Me Now (especially tear-jerky) you can see why our staff member thought they were the perfect workout group.
But what if people did listen to Chicago and the likes while exercising, what would that be like?
Switch to the gym and the testosterone-spewing, muscle-bound guy who finds it impossible to put his arms by his sides, music cranked on the ear buds while squatting 1,000 pounds or so with no assistance. You figure he must be a bit of a maniac as tears are streaming down his face - you believe because of the amazing strain on his body - and you sit and gasp in amazement at the sheer commitment of this guy, even if he does look like a bunch of balloons that someone stuck together.
He must be listening to some crazy inspirational music to have him working so hard and you wish you knew what it was. Just then one of his ear buds pops out and the blaring music becomes clear to everyone in the room. It's Mandy, and it becomes apparent that the muscle-bound chap is in fact a Manilow Fanilow.
The tears however were not from the strain of trying to lift all that weight, but rather because the words of the song spoke to him.
You can also picture athletes preparing for the 400 metres race at their next big event. Each athlete wearing ear buds of one variety or another because the big, over-the-head phones wouldn't be streamlined enough.
But if they were listening to other groups of the same ilk as Chicago like Air Supply for instance or Boyz 2 Men or even K-Ci and Jojo (I'm ashamed that I know all these groups), how on earth would they make it around the track?
It would be the slowest race ever.
They get out of the starter's blocks great but as soon as the chorus for each song kicks in the race fades quickly. First, lane 1, listening to Lionel Richie's Hello starts to slow to a crawl then lane 3 listening to Boyz 2 Men - On Bended Knee begins to shed a tear and drops to his knees with his hands wrapped across his chest as if hugging someone. He is quickly followed by lane 4 listening to Kenny Rogers - Lady. He slumps to the ground in a jellied heap and curls up in the foetal position while sucking his thumb.
Then you hear what you think is the starter's pistol for the beginning of another race only to be told lane 2 was listening to Michael Bolton and as he hit the chorus of "Tell me how am I supposed to live without you, Now that I've been lovin' you so long, How am I supposed to live without you, How am I supposed to carry on, When all that I've been livin' for is gone." The pain was just too much.
The point is you have to have the right type of music to get you pumped up to work out, and Chicago's music or anything else of that sort is definitely not going to help you reach your fitness goals. It may help give you a quick spike in your estrogen levels and maybe a warm feeling from the tears running down the side of your plugged nose and rosy face, but that is about it.
Unless you want to end up like the guy in lane 2 you might want to change up your song choice.
