A recent Associated Press story reported about a black bear that had to be euthanized after frequenting the Glacier National Park Campground, and charging visitors. What I want to know is - how much did the bear charge campers to stay at the campground and could park rangers not have just reported him to the IRS instead of killing him? Seems a little extreme don't you think.
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A friend of mine was recently complaining (as was I) about how hot the weather has been and how hot our houses were. Hot outside, hot inside, no rest for the wicked and all that stuff. I mentioned that I was going to check around to see if there were any air conditioners on sale when he said, "Oh crap. I forgot. I have three air conditioners in the attic. I bought them a couple of years ago in a blow out sale." I bet his house is nice and cool now.
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Can you imagine if people acted the way dogs did at the park? Pooping and peeing anywhere and everywhere they want. Running around sniffing crotches and getting involved in small fights before being distracted by squirrels. You could chase other people with cones around their necks all over the place jumping in and out of streams and shaking the water onto other passersby. Sounds like fun.
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Someone in the office mentioned they had heard on the police scanner a while back about a guy who was found dead on the stairs. Another staff member said "It's not new. This sort of thing has happened before" - to which he got the reply - "not to him."
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Has anyone else seen the Timmys TV ad where the middle-aged woman steals the young guy's doughnut. The young guy (teenager?) is walking down the sidewalk looking forward to eating his doughnut when he is distracted by an older woman (in slow motion) moving her head and hair about in a seemingly seductive manner. Their eyes meet and as they pass each other.He is so mesmerized by her middle-aged beauty that he doesn't even notice her stealing his doughnut. The ad just didn't sit well with me. Maybe because no middle-aged women ever hit on me, but several friends of mine, including my wife, had the same reaction to the ad. Keep your eye out for it and and see if you feel the same way.
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It's funny what goes through your head when you hear certain things.
The other day while listening to the police scanner I overheard something about a possible assault on Mullet Crescent. I'm not sure about you, but the first thing that popped into my mind was someone wearing old high-top runners with the laces open - possibly with tongue pumps on the shoes - bleached jeans, T-shirt with the sleeves ripped off and the ugliest mullet hairdo you have ever seen.
I envisioned this guy sneaking up behind someone to try to steal their purse then scampering off to his truck - gun rack and all - before shouting yeah baby or something like that before taking off.
But what if the crime happened on Rainbow Drive or maybe Afro Road. What would that crime scene have looked like?
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A recent job posting in The Citizen's careers section was looking for a Licensed Practical Nurse - Mobile Diabetes. I was trying to figure out if this meant the diabetes itself was mobile and could move to different parts of the body depending on its mood. Or that the applicants for the job had to have a type of diabetes that is mobile, so if they move the diabetes will move with them. Or could it have been if you didn't have diabetes they had a mobile centre where they could bring it to you. Kind of like the mobile libraries that move from town to town.
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A couple of months ago the Vancouver Sun reported that a passenger abandoned his Porsche on a ferry going from Swartz Bay to Tsawwassen.
Police said, "We had requests with the Vancouver Police Department to check on the owner... and the owner stated he could not find his vehicle at the time he got off the ferry, so he took the bus home."
Now I have had similar incidents in my past where I couldn't find my cloth "Green" bag at Superstore so I just left and went home. I may have left a drink or two at friends' houses and went home without them. I have left a jacket at someone's house or a bag in a taxi. I have even left my kid at the gas station (twice) and went home. But on every occasion I have gone back to get my belongings, even my kid. Although I will never forget those three days of complete silence.
But how on earth do you leave a Porsche on a ferry. It's not like he really forgot about it. He told police he couldn't find the vehicle at the time so he took the bus home.
Can you imagine what would happen to you if you arrived home through the front door instead of the garage door and the wife looked suspiciously at you (nothing new there) and asked why you came in the front door. "Oh. I left the Porsche on the ferry."
How much money do you have if you can afford to leave your Porsche on the ferry? Any other poor soul would have spent days scouring the ferry gut-wrenched that he couldn't find his car. But to go home without it, that's either the ultimate sin or you simply have too much money.
