A healthy diet is probably the hardest thing for me to master, and likely one of the hardest things for anyone to master when aiming for weight loss or overall good health.
I get to the gym on a fairly regular basis, but eating issues continue to plague me and will probably always be at least somewhat of a struggle. In an attempt to make sure my diet was helping my efforts at the gym and not hindering me, I made an appointment with a dietitian.
I faithfully logged my eating for an active day and for a rest day, brought that with me along with my supplements and vitamins I was taking. Initially the meeting went well, we talked about developing a meal plan and I was excited at the possibilities of having a dietitian-approved plan in place. After about 45 minutes of talking to me about my habits, my history, and my thoughts on food and diet, the mood seemed to change and our conversation went in a new direction.
She became concerned that my thoughts toward food and diet were skewed, and suggested I may have what she referred to as 'disordered thinking'. She decided the best course of action was for me to get an eating disorder screening and see about help and support through them, make minor changes to my diet (stopping my supplements, changing my multivitamin, increase my calcium and so on), and read a book on what I believe is a revolutionary way of thinking about health and diet,
The idea of contacting an eating disorder clinic initially seemed rather alarming. I am not underweight by any means, I've never suffered from anything as tough as bullemia or anorexia, and I didn't like the idea of wasting anyone's time when so many more serious cases likely needed attention. I felt guilty, but as per my dietitian's request, I made the call. I went through the screening process and was referred to another dietitian who works with the eating disorders clinic. To deal with the more physiological issues plaguing me about my body and my diet, they suggested I seek counselling.
I take these suggestions seriously and have made appointments with both the dietitian and a therapist. It's a bit scary for me to think about these issues and what I need to do to get past them, but I think about all the other people out there who struggle with things way tougher than what I have. So many people have sought help and came out the other side better, wiser, and stronger, which is what I intend to do.
Although I am not as serious a case as so many others who actually deal with an eating disorder (disordered thinking is different from an eating disorder, and the last thing I want to do is minimize the struggles of anyone living or recovering from an eating disorder), I've come to realize that everyone's problems, big or small can impact their lives in a huge way and are deserving of attention and healing. I am determined to get to the bottom of my issues and make a life long change, and I hope I can encourage anyone with problems that are similar or on a much bigger or smaller scale than mine to seek help and realize you are worth it.
I now am excited to see the new dietitian, work on my physiological issues and make some progress on what I see as being a positive step for the rest of my life.
