It seems no matter how hard adults try, they just can't ruin Halloween.
For kids of all ages, Halloween is a day to be different, to be someone (or something) else, to draw extra attention to yourself, to be someone (or something) you'd like to be for one day but not necessarily your entire life and where little ones, just by knocking on the door, can get candy for free. It's fun and it's liberating.
Yet there are killjoys everywhere, folks who grew up to become adults who not only buried their own childish tendencies but want everyone else, including today's generation of children, to do the same.
Let's start with the well-meaning parents who don't approve of the gender specific costumes because girls shouldn't be forced to think of themselves as princesses. That's all fine and dandy to shoot for that except that every parent of a daughter, myself included, knows that keeping pink and Barbie and Disney princesses out of the house does no good. They just sit at the table at the end of November in their gender-neutral shirt and pants, writing a letter to Santa asking for dresses, hair styling sets, Barbies, play baking ovens, pink bedding, pink bikes, pink school supplies and enrolment in dance and gymnastics classes. When asked if they'd prefer the black or blue instead of the pink outfit, they look at you as if you should be institutionalized immediately.
Unless you're able to raise your daughters without television, movies, and music with only carefully chosen books and likeminded friends raising their daughters the same way, the chances of keeping the stereotypical feminine out of most (but not all) daughters is slim.
To the chagrin of these parents, evolutionary psychologists have a theory about why the princess is so prevalent in little girl culture and it goes much deeper than blaming it on mass media. Long before they have the language to articulate their feelings on the topics, children understand gender differences, understand which gender they are and, in most, but certainly not all cases, want the the world to clearly understand which gender they are.The existence of "rainbow" kids, the children who exhibit trans-gender tendencies at a young age, supports this case because these kids aren't just playacting - their very sense of their developing identity is tied to the gender they feel they are, which doesn't always match the gender of their physical self.
Whatever gender the kids are, they should be free to celebrate or reject that gender, particularly on Halloween, in an age-appropriate way. For at least one day, parents should bite their tongue and if their little boys want to be cowboys and their little girls want to be princesses, or vice versa, that's all good.
The part where parents should dig in their heels is the age appropriate costumes. Shame on the costume makers and stores who peddle sexualized outfits, particularly for girls, under the guise of Halloween. The adults who believe it's okay to manufacture and sell naughty nurse and French maid costumes for eight year old girls, complete with fishnet stockings, high heels and low-cut blouses are making children into sex objects. The adults disguised as parents who give in to their daughter's stomping foot demanding those costumes are failing to adequately protect and nurture their children.
Halloween can be subversive but there are lines that shouldn't be crossed, particularly when the youngest and most vulnerable members of society are involved. Perverse should be left to the grown ups who understand the context and are free to laugh (or be disgusted).
Fortunately, the target audience itself seems quite able to ignore adult concerns of gender politics, self-identity and childhood sexualization just fine. By and large, kids put on their costumes yesterday and went out to the homes of their neighbours, their friends and their families, demanding and devouring candy with the reckless abandon of youth, thanks to the watchful and loving eyes of their families.
Halloween shouldn't be any more complicated or wonderful than that.
