Depression.
Even the word sounds... well, depressing.
Monday was the most depressing day of the year, according to the B.C. branch of the Canadian Mental Health Association of B.C. The group promoted "Blue Monday" to draw awareness to the debilitating effects of chronic depression and the various ways, including the Bounce Back program, to combat depression.
In their press release, the CMHA talked about being able to "conquer" depression but that implies an ultimate victory over depression, never to have to fight it again. Using that word with depression is the overly optimistic work of an enthusiastic media relations person who wants the message about depression to be positive.
Sadly, that's not the way depression works.
Keeping depression at bay is hard work and a lifelong commitment, as difficult as losing weight and then keeping it off. Both require constant vigilance to make smart choices and maintain healthy practices. Setbacks will happen but as long as the bad days are few and less frequent than the great days and average is good, many people can have control of their lives back.
Control is the most important element for people who suffer from even the mildest forms of depression. When those feelings come, what John Bentley Mays described as being "in the jaws of the black dogs" in his memoir on depression, the first thing lost is not being happy or optimistic, it's control. The depressive feelings shape everything, from how you view your life, your work and your loved ones, to your physical and mental energy, your sleep and your hunger. They can even take over your senses - noise and music can invade the mind, reading becomes an effort in foreign translation, the taste of food loses its appeal and the comforting touch of a loved one is an invasion of personal space.
Depression is hard on its sufferers and society is even harder on them. People avoid others with depression for fear the condition is contagious, which it is to varying degrees. To be fair, it's hard work to be around depressed individuals because the temptation is to overcompensate with upbeat optimism. Depression changes many things but it does not dampen intelligence one bit, so the depressed person is fully aware when friends and family are putting on a happy show. Most (but not all) people suffering from depression just want people around them to act normal because it's those normal feelings they crave. They don't want happiness, they want normality. The every day is much better than the bad day.
And what they really hate is being told to get better. That goes over as well as being told to lose weight by eating less. Forgive those who respond with "sorry all to hell if my depression is putting a damper on your good times vibe."
For the chronic sufferers of deep depressions, they want the same support and understanding as those who suffer from cancer, for their suffering is a cancer of the spirit. For the most part, it chose them, not vice versa, and they need medical help to treat their ailment. Treatment won't restore them to the way they were but it might give them not only the strength, but also the interest, in loving and laughing and living today and hopefully tomorrow, too.
For those with milder forms of depression, those feelings can be incorporated into positive ways into daily life. "I'm not a happy guy but I'm not always sad," sings Joe Jackson in Man On The Street. These people may not be the life of the party but their outlook, sometimes referred to as an "artistic sensitivity," is a welcome antidote to those who hide their lack of original thinking behind cheerful but meaningless platitudes. These people make peace with their dark feelings by becoming realists, refusing to surrender to their pessimism but also refusing to live an optimistic lie.
There is no conquering depression but perhaps it can be downgraded for many, from an emotional cancer to a head cold - something that strikes from time to time and can hit hard and long but the frequency and severity can be reduced with personal care. As individuals and a society, let's work on making depression less depressing and more of an annoyance and something greeted with understanding and sympathy.
