First of all, I'd like to thank the RCMP for doing their jobs to the very best of their abilities. When entering our home you were respectful, understanding, and truly concerned.
Now, let's talk about why the police were called to our home. A "concerned" neighbour called in about a screaming child and a yelling male. They were worried a child was being severely abused. Though I am glad you are concerned, I'd like to ask if you've ever dealt with a potentially autistic child who's also going through the terrible toddlers? No? Let me enlighten you.
Mess up their routine just one time, you pay for it for weeks until you can fix the original routine, or conform to the new one. My husband was not yelling to upset her, he was trying to get her out of the screaming fit (episode) she was in. It worked. It can be beyond frustrating and we are all only human. We are aware it is not the correct way to approach it. With this being a new diagnosis on her, it's all a learning curve, for her and us. She has fits. Tantrums and melt downs, episodes, which trust me, are very different things when dealing with an autistic child, no matter how much, or how little varied on the spectrum they may be, things are different; difficult. Evenings for our daughter are the most difficult right now. We missed her bath one night and are paying for it now as she thinks she doesn't need baths anymore, period, and that this is the new routine, so we're battling to get her back into her bath time routine.
It was very hot today, we had all our windows wide open, that worked against us on a few levels. She had one of her bad episodes. She began screaming about the routine frustration and not wanting a bath, or to get changed. I'm sure she was heard throughout our quiet and peaceful neighbourhood since all our windows were wide open. When my husband raised his voice sternly at her, she calmed right back down as she was able to finally hear him. She then continued on with getting changed, giving kisses to her younger sister, brother myself and her dad like she'd never had an episode at all. It was then that we had loud knocking on the door and the police arrived and explained their reasoning for attending our home.
I am grateful for the RCMP's concern and taking the call very seriously, and after looking over my daughters body, hearing our side of the story, and gathering general info, the two left seemingly comfortable we most certainly do NOT abuse our children. (Our daughter was delighted to hug a real police officer, thank you for that, kind sir, she loved it!)
It was the height of embarrassing for us. Autism is very different and a very real challenge. We are still new and learning ways to approach it and educate ourselves on helping her and learning with her. We hope this doesn't happen again in future and that maybe the neighbours who phoned in their concerns will read this and be a little more understanding on the situations we are facing when she has her next episode, because it will happen. Also, having police come in after we've finally got her into bed does not help correcting her routine. (Not the RCMP's fault by any means, they were simply doing their jobs.)
If you're unaware of autism, please do some research so you can maybe get a tiny idea of what it's like. Because reading about it, and living with it, don't even remotely compare to each other. I can't even imagine how different and difficult the world must be from our daughter's point of view. I know the struggle it can be, and is, from ours as her parents though.
So when you see the child acting out in a store, they may not be spoiled. When a child is screaming and fighting their parents at the park, it may not be because they want to go play elsewhere. Or when a child won't speak to anyone, they may not be antisocial or ignoring. Maybe they are having a sensory overload, are overstimulated and can't process it. Maybe their routine has been broken, thus thrusting their world upside down. Maybe they can't communicate in usual ways, or at all. So when a child acts differently from others, please think about this; the world is a scary place, it's only more terrifying when you don't understand it, are not being understood, and can't processes what's happening in your own surroundings. Be patient, understanding, and give the benefit of the doubt where possible. Not all parents are evil and mean. Not all children are spoiled brats. We are human. Humans are complicated.
Sara M.
Prince George
Editor's Note: Only in rare instances will be publish letters to the editor where the full identity of the writer is not revealed. Due to the sensitivity of this issue, it was felt a first name and last initial was appropriate.
