The author Frank Crane said, "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you do not trust enough."
I have found this philosophy very useful as an educator. I like to trust my students. From time to time a student will take advantage of this trust and be dishonest, but that is much better than the alternative.
As a young teacher, my greatest fear was losing control of my classroom. I was therefore much more concerned with being taken advantage of. I thought that if a student pulled the wool over my eyes I would appear weak and would be unable to maintain discipline in my classroom.
The opposite is true, however. When we raise a fuss over nothing, we look foolish and if we don't make amends that can be very damaging to a positive relationship with our students. In addition, it sends a very negative message to our young people, it tells them that they are untrustworthy, and that is a message that we do not want to give to an honest person.
I learned a valuable lesson in this regard as a university student. I was accused of something fairly serious, so I was called into the dean's office and given the opportunity to explain myself. Though I had no evidence to prove that I was telling the truth, he concluded, "You are a man of integrity. I believe you."
This had such a positive impact on my life that I never forgot it. I felt heard, I felt believed, I felt respected, and I knew that I had nothing to hide or to be ashamed of. I continued to live those words of being "a man of integrity" from that day forward. How different things could have been had I not been believed. Would I ever want to take a chance of telling a young person that I doubted their integrity unless I had clear evidence to the contrary?
By trusting in others am I taking a risk of being taken advantage of? Yes I am, but I am comfortable taking that risk because I know the power of the truth. Truth has a way of coming to the surface. When we lie, we know that we are lying. We then have to live with the guilt of knowing that we have done so, as well as the fear of being found out.
In addition, when a person does not feel remorse and feels that they have gotten away with something, they are more likely to be dishonest again. Eventually they will get caught and lose the trust of others. It may take time, but the truth always comes out.
This principle applies to life as it does to teaching. I am not saying that one does not need to be prudent. Check the facts, trust your instincts, but do not give in to fear.
Yes, we will be taken advantage from time to time, but know that truth is a powerful ally.
