The mistake David and Collet Stephan made cost their young son his life and for that they should be punished. At 19-months-old, he was not in the position to tell his parents their natural remedies were not making him better and he needed to see a doctor to cure him of the meningitis that eventually killed him.
The challenge of what's the right choice for the parents of an 11-year-old Prince George child diagnosed with gender dysphoria is trickier. Gender dysphoria is the medical term used to describe individuals experiencing emotional anguish and distress because their physical gender does not match the gender they self-identify as. In the case of the local child, identified only in court documents as J.K., he was born female but began transitioning to becoming male this year, a process that includes taking puberty-blocking drugs.
After J.K.'s father took legal steps to stop the drug treatment, J.K. and his mother applied for a court-appointed litigation guardian to help J.K. make his own decisions regarding his treatment. The judge agreed.
"This case is really about J.K. and his role in determining his own future," B.C. Supreme Court Justice Ronald Skolrood wrote. "In my view, these issues cannot be properly considered without J.K.'s direct participation, nor would it be fair to J.K. for the court to attempt to do so."
For most 11-year-olds in this situation, their parents are divorcing and both want full custody of the child. The court appoints a litigation guardian to help that child make their own decision, as independently as possible from their parents. The child can go back to the court at any time, however, and ask for the custody arrangement to be changed.
Unfortunately, gender assignment does not have that flexibility. Once the maturing transformations begin in a child, either through regular puberty or hormonal treatments, those changes are irreversible.
For children like J.K., born female and experiencing gender dysphoria, the prospect of developing female breasts is terrifying. A group of children like J.K. bravely shared their stories last year in an excellent Frontline documentary, Growing Up Trans, which can be viewed online. The documentary explains how puberty blockers buy children and families some extra time, a pause to help them come to grips with the issues before them. Since there is no test to determine whether a child experiencing gender dysphoria will grow up to be transgender, puberty blockers create a safety bubble for children and parents. Outside of the bubble lies permanent change.
J.K.'s father argued that these drugs are dangerous and he might be right. As stated in the documentary, puberty blockers are a safe and reliable medication for children experiencing puberty too early in life but they were not designed or tested for use on otherwise healthy children experiencing gender dysphoria. As a result, the long-term effects, if any, are unclear.
As Growing Up Trans clearly illustrates, a child with gender dysphoria who self-identifies as the opposite gender at a young age can strain even the strongest bond between mother and father. As one child in the documentary sadly says "my dad keeps saying he's just not there yet." In the local case, Judge Skolrood's additional reason to appoint a litigation guardian for J.K. was to provide "a buffer from the acrimony existing between his parents."
Even if they never agree on anything else, hopefully J.K.'s mom and dad find a way forward together to support their child. J.K. has some difficult choices ahead in the near future, including whether to begin the hormone treatments that would permanently set him down the path to becoming a man. Those decisions will only be complicated when the two most important people in his life are busy fighting each other instead of focusing on him.
The Stephans lost sight of their love for their son inside an anti-science, anti-technology, anti-modernity dogma and he paid for it with his life. Whatever feelings and however deeply they feel them about each other and the situation, J.K.'s parents must find a way to set aside all of them and find a way to love their child together, no matter what he decides and no matter what happens next.
His future happiness and his very identity are at stake. In other words, his life also hangs in the balance.
-- Managing editor Neil Godbout
