A note to readers: This is part four of a four-part, Advent-themed column series from Katie Neustaeter. You can find part one here, part two here and part three.
I love winter, which is odd because:
1. During this season I am cold literally all the time (i.e. I have Raynaud's disease in my phalanges; it’s that bad.)
2. It is dark almost all of the time because the sun NO LONGER EXISTS RIGHT NOW, which is just ridiculously cruel.
3. Everyone is sick.
4. I’m so cold.
5. I have been a mother for 15.5 (41 collective) years now and I am STILL fighting about appropriate winter clothing and footwear every. single. $!@#. day. during this season.
6. I am so very cold.
7. For many of us, this season can be a time of increased isolation and, therefore, terribly difficult.
8. Everything is so busy.
9. I’m so cold.
Winter can be a really hard time in many ways... and yet every time it comes around I fall in love all over again because it presents unique opportunities for peace: gently falling snow, evenings nestled on the couch, awareness of the needs of others, the glow of the Christmas tree and the revaluation of priorities as we head into a new year.
Despite the chaos and heartbreak that seems to echo through our cold Canadian winters, there is also a deep sense of peace that can accompany this season if we choose to lean into it.
As things get a little quieter, stiller and everyone hunkers down a bit more, we switch over the seasons of the year just like we do the weeks of Advent: hope, faith, joy and peace.
In the spring of our lives, we find hope. In summer, we find faith. In the fall, we find joy, and in winter we can find great peace.
By nature, I am not what you would call a “peaceful” person. Although there would be many answers, I’m willing to bet that if you asked 100 people what word they would use to describe me, exactly zero of them would answer “peaceful.” I’m fairly comfortable with conflict, tend to bring more party and less calm to a room, feel it’s more important to be kind than to be nice and am not zen by any definition of the word, and that used to really bother me.
When I was in my late teens and early 20s, I used to really struggle with the idea that, particularly as a young woman, I was supposed to be quiet and “peaceful.” I tried and failed many times to morph into a more watered-down version of myself, but was always left frustrated that the qualities of my personality clashed with what I now know was a very poor definition of what a peaceful person is. My mislabelling of “peaceful” lead me to believe that peace was not something that could be incorporated into my life and I began to become a bit grudging toward peace as a quality because it seemed unattainable for me.
But one of the many benefits of getting older is that you start to re-evaluate and redirect many of the entrenched paths of your mind. In my late 30s, I began to discover the value of peace in my life by redefining it.
Peace does not mean lacking opinions or refusing to express them, peace is not agreeing with everyone, and peace does not mean always being demur — that is a false understanding of peace.
Peace is a target; it’s where we aim when expressing our opinions, making decisions, setting healthy boundaries, having hard conversations and peace is what allows us to sleep at night.
Peace is asking ourselves, “Is it well with my soul?” and trying to answer (and then live) honestly.
I still miss the mark all the time (truth be told, pretty much every day), but I am learning that when we begin aiming for a peace that passes all understanding, instead of a false peace that is really just pretense, we find that this humble quality becomes a lovely companion that makes life a whole lot easier.
There is peace to be had if we choose it, friends: nothing is ever entirely lost, you are forgivable, you can make hard choices, your life can change and there is still more for us if we seek to find peace even in the middle of our most barren winters. Find shelter from anxiety, a refuge from life’s storms and be lifted from the waves that overwhelm you by dropping the anchor of peace in your world today.
During this final, wintery week of Advent, I invite you to join me in pursuing and prioritizing the opportunity for peace in our individual, and therefore collective, lives. Now is the perfect time to find it, the very first gift of Christmas, lying wrapped up and laying in His cradle, like a present beneath the tree; the Prince of Peace.
Let’s choose peace and allow it to lead us into the year to come.
Katie Neustaeter is a professional writer with a background in broadcasting and owner of Refraction Communications. Katie is also a multiple Kamloops Readers Choice award winner in categories including Influencer, Volunteer and Personality. She also really loves candy. As a community advocate who is passionately engaged in her region, Katie explores a wide range of topics in her column Refraction with the purpose of promoting healthy public discourse.
